Not a Mob: Psycho

"I think I'm missing some context here..." said Ohta, watching as Soifon shed her hakama-style pants to reveal she was, in fact, wearing a black thong. Not just any old thong, though, but one with tiny pieces of fabric resembling a cat's ears.
Furrowing her brows to their limit, Soifon stared at Ohta with suspicion as she begrudgingly divulged, "Yoruichi-sama said I am to present myself to the man who speaks my true name in confidence..."
"Yeah, that's not happening," affirmed Ohta. "As enticing as the prospect of railing a Captain is, I'm currently trying to save my woman, not pick up stray kittens."
Though she wasn't particularly enthused by the prospect of presenting herself to a man, much less one she had just recently met, Soifon's gaze exuded severity as she said, "I swore an oath..."
Shrugging his shoulders, Ohta asserted, "That's between you and your former Mistress. Talk to her and get permission from Rukia, and I might consider it. Though, fair warning, the odds of me going along with it are pretty slim."
"..."
Staring up at Ohta with a mixture of fury, conflict, and moderate relief, Soifon remained silent for several seconds before asking, "What do you need me to do? No, more importantly, where can I find Yoruichi-sama?"
"I already told you," noted Ohta, clarifying, "She's currently looking after the others who invaded the Seireitei with me. You going to her would just cause problems, so be a good little kitten and wait until the day of Rukia's execution. When we interfere to rescue her, you can sneak off somewhere to chat, caress each other's kitties, or do whatever else the two of you get up to in private."
Though Ohta's manner of speaking was 'abhorrent,' Soifon's ears became red at the mention of 'caressing kitties' with her former Mistress. She had never heard the phrase before but immediately understood what it meant based on the circumstances.
"Then there's one last thing I need from you before I permit you to injure me..." said Soifon, earning a slight frown from Ohta as she petitioned, "I want you to pat my head or hold me while I drink in my former Mistress's scent..."
"Man, you're hopeless..." remarked Ohta. However, while Soifon's words didn't exactly enthuse him, he spread his arms and added, "Consider this a favor..."
While the notion of being indebted to Ohta vexed her considerably, Soifon didn't hesitate for too long before burying her face into his chest, sniffing him like a bloodhound rather than the kitten she was often compared. Her body tensed when he subsequently wrapped his arms around her, but she resisted the urge to extricate herself from his embrace by picturing him as her beloved Yoruichi-sama...
"You're getting a little low there..." remarked Ohta, referring to the fact that Soifon was gradually working down his body, likely searching for the location Yoruichi's scent was most concentrated. And since he didn't stop her, it wasn't long before she found it...
"Yoruichi-sama..." moaned Soifon, burying her nose into Ohta's crotch as if it weren't the object she most despised. Unfortunately, the moment she tried fingering herself, Ohta ended the creepy interaction before it could get further out of hand...
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After leaving Soifon's unconscious, moderately injured body embedded in a wall crater, at her behest, Ohta decided to lie low and wait for the news that he had defeated a Captain to circulate. He honestly felt cheated, but the alternative was exposing himself to one of the most lethal Zanpakuto in Soul Society's history.
Fortunately, as Ohta and Soifon had created a rather large disturbance when he 'defeated' her, it wasn't long before she was discovered by an investigative member of her very Squad. Shortly after that, a brand new alarm began to sound throughout the Seireitei, announcing the shift from a Red Alert state to Black, a sound code typically reserved for full-scale invasions...
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"Here you are..." said Yoruichi, appearing before Ohta in her cat form as he rested beneath the city streets of the Seireitei.
Opening his eyes, Ohta wore a deadpan expression as he stated, "Little Fēng sends her regards..."
Unable to hide her smile, Yoruichi displayed it proudly as she asked, "How far did the two of you go? I can't imagine you had sex but did you at least get her to strip...?"
"You're kind of fucked in the head, aren't you?" contended Ohta. "That girl is clearly a man-hater. Putting her in that kind of situation..."
Shaking his head, Ohta preempted Yoruichi's response, stating, "No, just forget it. I won't waste my time lecturing someone who's lived hundreds of years..."
"That's probably for the best," said Yoruichi. "The Soul Society's culture and 'logic' differs considerably from the human world. For a young man with modern sensibilities, our society must seem very 'backward' to you. However, there is a reason for that..."
"Let's hear it..." replied Ohta, believing Yoruichi was talking out of her ass but willing to hear what she had to say.
"Stagnation is a key element to maintaining the cycle of souls," attested Yoruichi. "If the Soul Society were progressive and made a conscientious effort to improve the conditions of those living within it, the afterlife would become even more crowded than it already is..."
Moving over and making herself comfortable in Ohta's lap, Yoruichi curled up in his lap as she added, "Unlike the human world, where there are six-billion people spread out across the globe, the Soul Society houses more than seventeen billion, split between East and West. Inversely, less than a million native souls dwell within the Seireitei. As for the Gotei 13, the main policing force for the entire Soul Society, there are only 3000-4000 active members and 2000 reserve members..."
"In other words, you're short-staffed..." muttered Ohta.
"That is a gross understatement..." replied Yoruichi, shrugging as she added, "But it's the truth. We simply lack the personnel and resources to improve conditions qualitatively, and even if we could, it would invariably disrupt the balance between the three worlds. The afterlife isn't meant to be a place you can tarry, accumulate wealth, and live as you please for an eternity. Its purpose is to offer a brief respite from the troubles you faced in life before allowing you to transition to the next..."
"So, you keep things 'boring' to ensure people don't get too comfortable?" asked Ohta.
"That's a bit of an oversimplification, but yes," replied Yoruichi, closing her eyes as she revealed, "The Shihouin Clan plays a vital role in that respect. We are known as the 'Guardians of the Heavenly-Vested Armaments' and the 'Defenders of the Realm.' We have safeguarded heavenly artifacts that could alter the very structure of reality. As a result...well, let's just say that my family is very 'conservative.' Humans might see value in progress, but we have watched countless civilizations rise and fall in the quest for ever-greater wealth and prosperity..."
Rolling onto her back so Ohta could have access to her belly, Yourichi parted her eyes just enough to reveal a faint golden glimmer as she softly appended, "You're free to live however you please, Yamada Ohta...but do not try to conform the Soul Society to your ideals. We have preserved the balance between the three realms for 1,008,496 years. Create a society that can endure more than ten thousand, and you might have a platform to stand on..."
As he couldn't imagine modern society enduring an additional hundred, Ohta found himself unable to respond to Yoruichi's words. In his previous life, the Third World War had devastated the planet, leaving much of the East and West Coasts of the United States in ruin, sinking most of Europe, turning all of Russia into an uninhabitable tundra, and effectively 'erasing' China as a country in less than three years. At the time of his death, more than seventeen years after the war had ended, most countries still hadn't restored power to their grids. Those that had power collapsed under the strain of a never-ending tide of refugees, some even being taken over by various religious or cult leaders inciting the masses to violence...
Noticing the sudden change in Ohta's 'aura,' Yoruichi raised her feline brows and questioned, "Did my words upset you? If so, that wasn't my intention. I was merely stating facts..."
Shaking his head, Ohta replied, "Just forget about it...so long as the Soul Society doesn't go out of its way to meddle in my affairs, I don't care how it's structured..."
"Yes, I am aware of that..." mused Yoruichi. "I just noticed you had been acting particularly 'vengeful' as of late. Like you're looking for any reason to destroy something. If it comes to that, feel free to destroy me in place of Soul Society. As the former and future leader of the Shihouin Clan, it's my duty to preserve the balance..."
To emphasize how she wanted Ohta to 'destroy' her, Yoruichi reverted to her human form, staring up at him with narrowed eyes as she lay atop his lap. She knew this would push his buttons, but with how often he pushed hers, Yoruichi considered this as getting even, a sentiment she knew Ohta was well-acquainted...
"You don't know when to give up, do you...?" asked Ohta, his expression morphing into a deadpan.
"It's more like I 'refuse' to give up..." countered Yoruichi. "You're the first man who has actively pushed away and tried to 'tame' me. I can't let that go without getting in a few parting shots..."
"But you 'will' move on, right...?" asked Ohta. He couldn't imagine a woman like Yoruichi settling down with a single partner unless they succeeded in 'taming' her. Native souls, assuming they weren't killed or suffered a soul-borne illness, had an average lifespan exceeding 3000 years. Members of the Five-turned-Four Great Clans could survive much, much longer due to their distinctive Reiryoku. Thus, even though Yourichi was well over two hundred years old, she still had a lot of life ahead of her. Literal millennia.
"Eventually..." admitted Yoruichi. "But, considering I made my trainwreck of a relationship with Kisuke work for sixty years, don't expect to get rid of me any time soon. You could kill me, of course, but then you'd have to live with the guilt of murdering a woman who was fascinated, if not slowly falling in love with you..."
"Don't say that..." said Ohta, frowning deeply. Unfortunately, as the words had already left Yoruichi's mouth, they were fated to fester in his mind like maggots in an overripe fruit. For women as beautiful as Yoruichi, the word love was a cheat-like weapon. Even if they were insincere, the notion that it might be true would forever haunt the people they said it to...
Closing her eyes, Yoruichi snuggled up to Ohta as she whispered, "Since you've absorbed the traits of my family, you will also live a very long time, Ohta. Even if I have to wait a hundred, a thousand, or even ten-thousand years, you 'will' be mine...eventually..."
"..."
Sneaking a peek at Ohta out of the corner of her eye, Yoruichi's teasing smile now seemed to exude a certain degree of 'sincerity' alongside the usual expectation. Seeing it caused Ohta to frown and clench his jaw, but his mind failed to stitch together more than three words. He hadn't even factored in the possibility of living more than a few decades, so now that Yoruichi had implanted it in his mind, his thoughts invariably strayed in a direction that heavily favored her. He might be able to remain faithful to Rukia for ten, twenty, maybe even a few hundred years, but he couldn't imagine any relationship enduring thousands. And now that Yoruichi had instilled in him the notion she would be waiting to 'collect' him, it would forever linger in the back of his mind...
"You're a fucking demon..." asserted Ohta.
Exhaling a scoffing chuckle, Yoruichi adopted a toothy, naturally alluring grin as she rebutted, "You know you love the attention..." before promptly turning into a cat to avoid Ohta's telegraphed but genuine attempt to stab her in the face...
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(A/N: More like a Succubus...)

With Yoruichi only coming by to update him on the situation with the other group, tracking him using their spiritual link, Ohta eventually found himself alone, once again, in the tunnels beneath Seireitei.
"This sucks..." muttered Ohta, staring absentmindedly at the luminescent algae lining the ceiling above. The present situation reminded him of when he was on jobs in his previous life. He didn't know if he was unique or if it was just human nature, but whenever there was a possibility of him dying, his thoughts wandered to both the past and future.
"I need to start working on my tolerance..." concluded Ohta. He had the memories of being sober for more than fifteen years, but like many other people in his 'profession,' he had a penchant for drinking to take the edge off or dull the senses. The incident at Kukaku's made him reluctant to pick up a bottle, but if his brain kept wandering to places it shouldn't, he didn't mind killing it a bit...
Closing his eyes and leaning his head against the wall he was seated against, Ohta tried to guide his thoughts in a more positive direction. He reckoned there was about a 70% chance of Rukia attempting to break up with him for 'his sake,' so he imagined shutting her up with a kiss, leading to much, much more. Unfortunately, partway through the imagined scene, a similarly sized, equally petite Captain overlapped with Rukia's image...
"Man, fuck this shit..." groaned Ohta, rising to his feet and preparing to leave the dark and increasingly dreary underground tunnel system. If his thoughts were wandering due to inaction and boredom, there were more than a few ways to amend things.
Emerging from a circular hatch after ascending a ladder more than 20m in length, Ohta immediately felt better. The underground tunnels, like many ancient structures within the Seireitei, used trace amounts of Sekkiseki in their construction. This made them excellent hiding places, but due to the interference caused by the Sekkiseki, spiritual entities would begin to feel increasingly discomfited, eventually becoming sick.
Breathing in the fresh, Reishi-rich air aboveground, a faint smile returned to Ohta's face. The air was incredibly refreshing, but, better still, he could sense a trio of passably powerful Shinigami nearby, ideal candidates for a bout of recreational venting.
Shunpoing over to the trio's position, Ohta discovered a blonde-haired Shinigami whose massive tits looked like they were about to burst out of her Shihakusho, a sickly-looking man with pale skin and notably 'angular' blonde hair forming a sharp cowlick covering the left side of his face, and another man with a fairly 'fresh' hairstyle and rugged features that made hime resemble a thug, complete with sunglasses.
Noticing that all three Shinigami were wearing Lieutenant badges, Ohta's smile broadened as he called out, questioning, "Could the three of you be looking for me~?" with a trace of whimsy in his tone.
Though the two male Shinigami immediately went on high alert, drawing their Zanpakuto, the buxom blonde's blue eyes widened as she remarked, "Oh, wow. The report failed to mention how handsome you were."
"You're not so bad yourself," mused Ohta. "A little top-heavy, but I dig the wavy blonde hair."
Narrowing her eyes in amusement, the blond-haired Shinigami crossed her arms in a way that intentionally emphasized her bust as she said, "If you come down this instant and behave, I'll let you see what's on the end of this chain."
Taking note of said chain, the end of which was sandwiched between the female Shinigami's massive tits, Ohta remarked, "Tempting, but I'll have to pass."
"That's a real shame," replied the woman, narrowing her eyes even further as she grabbed the hilt of her Zanpakuto, abruptly leaping toward him and drawing it as she shouted, "Growl, Haineko...!"
In response to her call, the female Shinigami's blade seemed to vaporize, becoming a cloud of ash or dust. Said cloud raced at high speeds toward Ohta, but he just waved his left hand, dispersing it with a wave of psychic energy that also slammed into the woman, sending her sliding backward through the air.
Raising his brows, Ohta remarked, "You must have pretty good control to be able to stand in the air while the barrier is active..."
Adopting a fairly mischievous smile, the female Shinigami asked, "Should I praise your ability to stand in the air as well...?"
"Nah, I know I'm a badass," replied Ohta, catching the angular hook-shaped sword of the blonde male with his 'bare' hand. Neither he nor his psychic barrier wavered, but Ohta suddenly felt like he had entered a tub of water, an invisible pressure enveloping his body.
Though he was surprised to see Ohta stop his Zanpakuto with his bare hand, the blonde male was markedly more shaken when he failed to pull away. Ohta didn't even seem to be gripping his blade, but it didn't budge no matter how hard he pulled at it.
"You should have let go..." mused Ohta, his characteristically deep voice sending a chill through the blonde man's body as he felt an invisible force envelop him, freezing him in place.
Seeing his fellow Lieutenant unable to move, the sunglasses Shinigami, wielding a large falchion shaped like a fan and with a pick-like protrusion near the tip, promptly decided against trying to catch Ohta off guard. He couldn't tell what method Ohta had used to trap the angular blonde, so he attempted to buy some time for the woman, saying, "Hey, you, Ryoka. Is it true you came all this way to rescue that girl from the Kuchiki Clan...?"
"That's right," replied Ohta, waving his hand and sending the blonde man crashing into the ground, keeping him in place by constantly accelerating him downward. He still felt the sensation of being enveloped in water, but it wasn't too difficult to move as he turned toward the man, pretending to ignore the woman as he asked, "Why? Got something to say...?"
Amusing Ohta somewhat, the thug-like man shook his head and gave a thumbs up with his left hand, asserting, "Only that you're a real man. It takes a lot of balls to invade the Soul Society like this. Must be one hell of a woman, that Kuchiki girl."
Shrugging his shoulders, Ohta casually confessed, "She's a bit lacking as far as looks go, but I've come to learn that even petite women have their charm. She's my little spider-bunny."
As he actually knew Rukia, albeit only in a professional setting, the thug-like Shinigami was more than a little surprised by Ohta's words. The Rukia he knew was a very quiet, serious, and unapproachable woman. Hearing someone refer to her as a 'spider-bunny' was somewhat amusing, but he could only imagine how she got the peculiar nickname...
Now thoroughly enveloped in the buxom blonde's ash cloud, Ohta turned to face her, asking, "You about finished with your preparations?"
Exhaling a throaty, sensual chuckle, the blonde playfully mused, "I like to take my time with handsome boys..."
Slashing with her bladeless Zanpakuto, the buxom blonde intended to cut Ohta but her ash, usually capable of cutting like a scalpel, scraped futilely across the invisible membrane covering his body.
Furrowing her brows, the buxom Shinigami combed her fingers through her wavy blonde hair, appearing slightly annoyed as she remarked, "It's always a good idea to use protection, but don't you know you feel it more without? You're no fun..."
"That's because I haven't started moving yet," replied Ohta, surprising the
woman by vanishing and appearing behind her as he supplanted, "I take back my comment about you being top-heavy. Your trunk is pretty packed as well..."
Though her immediate instinct was to take evasive actions, the blonde-haired Shinigami ultimately leaned her head back, staring at Ohta with an upturned, albeit inverted gaze as she softly remarked, "You're even more handsome from up close..."
"I get that," replied Ohta, returning a smile as he placed his hand on the woman's shoulder, causing her to feel like a tremendous weight had been placed on it.
"Is it too late to talk things out?" asked the woman, smiling wryly as the pressure continued to increase.
"Afraid so..." replied Ohta, suppressing the temptation to offer the woman a drink once this incident had been settled. Such comments would have earned him an eye roll or gotten him ignored in his previous life, but here, where he had good looks, a naturally smoldering gaze, and a deep voice, it was getting him into trouble...
Fortunately for the blonde woman, Ohta didn't send her crashing into the ground. Instead, he increased the pressure around her body, constraining her lungs and overwhelming her senses with his concentrated Reiatsu. As a result, she quickly lost consciousness, held aloft by his psychic energy as he looked to the final Shinigami, their gazes meeting for several tense moments.
Feeling he had already vented plentily, Ohta surprised the thug-like man by suggesting, "Let's end things here. Take these two wherever you go to receive healing or send a signal to the 4th Division. I'll be loitering around this area for a few hours, so be sure to bring a Captain with you the next time you come, okay?"
Before Ohta could turn away and disappear using Shunpo, the sunglassed Shinigami exclaimed, "Hey, hold up!"
Turning back to face the man, Ohta raised his brows, stating, "You have ten seconds."
Shaking his head, the thug-like man said, "I don't even need that. I just have one question for you before you go..."
Indicating for the man to continue with his silence, Ohta wasn't surprised when he asked, "You're not really our enemy, are you?"
Adopting a faint smile, Ohta asserted, "If I were, the Gotei would be down four Lieutenants, forty-three Seated members, and a Captain. I'm here for one reason and one reason only. I want my spider-bunny returned to me."
Nodding his head, the thug-like man said, "I understand. I'm unsure if it will help, but I'll convey your words to my Captain. Thank you for sparing my comrades."
Punctuating his words, the thug-like man bowed steeply. This earned him an approving nod, but by the time he raised his head, Ohta was nowhere to be seen...
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Contradicting what he had told the thug-like Shinigami, Ohta immediately changed locations after handling the trio of Lieutenants. Things had gone favorably with Soifon, but if several Captains showed up to surround him, he could find himself in a tricky position. Thus, just in case he was forced to flee, he left psychic imprints throughout the Seireitei, intending to trick any pursuers using Yoruichi's most-hated method.
After traversing what must have been at least seven-hundred kilometers, Ohta concealed his presence and spied on passing Shinigami to find out which piece of the pie he was in. The Seireitei, as could be expected, was divided into thirteen 'courts,' he guarded by one of the thirteen Squads of Shinigami. The central, metropolitan-looking area was the dominion of the First Division, effectively making it a 'no man's land.' The remaining twelve courts were perfectly divided like the slices of a piece, circling the central court and covering nearly 1,800,000 square kilometers.
As the pie-like courts were arranged similarly to the numbers on a clock, Ohta hoped that by moving north along the western side of the Seireitei that he would find himself in the area managed by the 9th Division. Their Captain, Tosen Kaname, was one of the suspected accomplices of Aizen, so while Ohta might not kill him outright, he wouldn't mind decorating the pavement with the purportedly blind man's blood...
Fortunately for Ohta, one of the Shinigami he captured readily revealed that he was, in fact, in the region patrolled by Squad 9. Better yet, there was an active order for all members of the Division to assemble outside their barracks, apparently preparing to head to his previously reported location en mass...
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(A/N: Well, that's convenient (O w O)...)

In the wake of his triumph over Renji, Ohta noticed a distinct decrease in the number of Shinigami actively searching for him. Those that remained were all Seated members, denoting their status as one of the twenty most powerful or 'influential' Shinigami in their Squad.
"This is boring..." muttered Ohta, sitting atop the roof of a predominately white, Japanese-style house as he stared up at the Senzaikyū(Palace of Penitence) imprisoning Rukia.
Though he still had some expectations for the Captains, the Shinigami of Soul Society were considerably weaker than Ohta expected. His training with Yoruichi had shaped his notion of what 'power' was, so he felt like a fully-trained adult being pitted against kindergarteners...
Feeling an electrical sensation across his body, Ohta tensed, his eyes widening as he felt something 'prick' his psychic barrier, accompanied by a metallic ringing sound.
Rising to his feet, Ohta used Shunpo to create some distance between himself and whatever attacked him, inverting the direction he was facing to find a lithe and petite woman with grey eyes and short black hair tied into two, much longer braids that extended to her ass cheeks, wrapped in white cloth and ending in golden rings. More significantly, over the usual uniform of a Shinigami, she wore a sleeveless white haori with an orange interior, fastened at her waist by a bright yellow cloth.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me..." groaned Ohta, recognizing his would-be assassin as none other than Yoruichi's 'kitten,' the Captain of Squad 2, Soifon.
Staring between her wakizashi-style Zanpakuto and Ohta, Soifon coldly asserted, "You have a barrier protecting your body..."
While Soifon was 'distracting' Ohta, a much larger man, exceeding 2m, appeared behind him in the traditional Shihakusho but with an oversized purple collar and several pieces of ornate jewelry adorning his body. He was faster than his size would suggest, but Ohta was much, much faster,
appearing behind the stout, balding man as he said, "Nice try, Bunta(Pig)." before kicking him with meteoric force toward the ground.
At the exact moment Ohta sent the man flying, Soifon materialized like a phantom next to him, her wakizashi leaving behind a visible arc of light as she attempted to slice off his right hand.
As she had empowered her blow with concentrated spirit energy, Soifon's eyes widened when the light enveloping her Zanpakuto 'shattered' as she struck Ohta's wrist. More disturbingly, she felt pain in her hand, like all the force from her blow had rebounded back into her.
"Look, can we not do this?" asked Ohta, shaking his right hand to try and alleviate the pins and needles he was experiencing. Soifon's blow lacked the force needed to overwhelm his empowered psychic barrier, but he felt a strong vibration spread through his arm when her blade made contact, a sensation similar to what one might experience when hitting a metal plate with a sledgehammer.
Furrowing her brows, Soifon abruptly pulled off her Captain's haori, letting it be carried away by the wind as she said, "You face Su&igrave;-Fēng, Captain of the Second Squad and Commander of the Onmitsukidō. Surrender now or suffer the consequences of your indiscretion."
Instead of responding to Soifon, Ohta eyed her new outfit with a mixture of intrigue and confusion. It was similar to the standard Shihakusho, but there were no sleeves or back, and the outer thighs were left completely exposed. She also wore black sleeves resembling arm warmers, running from the middle of her bicep and extending to her hand, but the most notable feature of her outfit was the visible black strings of her panties, visible due to her exposed outer thighs.
With the intention of annoying the serious-looking woman and satisfying his curiosity, Ohta asked, "Are you wearing a thong...?" with raised brows.
Raising her Zanpakuto at an angle before her perennially pissed-off face, Soifon shouted, "Sting all enemies to death, Suzumebachi...!"
Responding to its Master's command, Soifon's Zanpakuto transformed from a fairly ordinary-looking wakizashi to a form-fitting gauntlet with an appearance reminiscent of a killer bee. Reinforcing this sentiment, a long, golden, stinger-like needle covered her middle finger, a fearsome weapon known to kill with two precise strikes.
"Hey, I'm not the one who made you put them on, much less take off your clothes..." remarked Ohta, drastically fortifying the barrier around his body until the tri-colored, kaleidoscopic aura enveloping him became visible to the naked eye, causing his spiky hair to begin fluttering.
Narrowing her eyes, Soifon moved nearly as fast as Yoruichi, momentarily vanishing from Ohta's perception before appearing a few meters behind him. In the very brief interval between, he felt an impact against his right shoulder. Fortunately, while the blow caused him to stagger a bit, Soifon's blow failed to penetrate his barrier.
Frowning deeply, Soifon's voice, clearly crafted to sound like Yoruichi's, carried an especially vitriolic hiss as she stated, "You're starting to annoy me..."
"Says the woman whose Zanpakuto is themed off a buzzing insect..." countered Ohta, mind racing to consider how best to deal with Soifon's speed. It had only been a few hours since the 'raid' began, so he didn't want to reveal all his cards. Yoruichi had also requested that he not be 'too rough' with her former kitten, albeit while also suggesting he try to awaken Soifon's 'femininity.'
Fortunately for Ohta, Soifon was too proud to resort to her Bankai against a foe she believed 'beneath' her. She also hated the form her Bankai took, so she would only utilize it willfully if the situation became dire.
Intent on finding a weakness in Ohta's defenses, Soifon executed a nearly flawless Shunpo. This time, however, Ohta also used Shunpo, effectively trading places with her as she turned to stare at him with a hint of shock in her piercing grey eyes.
Though he initially believed she was simply shocked by his speed, it was Ohta's turn to be surprised when Soifon confidently asserted, "That's La&ndash;that traitor Yoruichi's technique..."
Recovering nigh-instantaneously, Ohta adopted a smile and replied, "She says hi, by the way."
"..."
Holding up her right hand, displaying the stinger-like tip of her Zanpakuto, Soifon abruptly revealed, "My Zanpakuto, Suzumebachi, has the ability to extinguish any target it has struck in the same place twice. Your defense is admittedly impressive, but it's only a matter of time before I discover a vulnerability and pierce them. Surrender and tell me everything you know of Shihouin Yoruichi, and I swear upon my honor as Captain of the Second Squad, you will not be harmed..."
("Wow, this woman is down bad...") thought Ohta, externally responding, "I can't surrender, but I don't mind chatting for a bit. Your former Mistress asked me not to hurt you, so if we could go our separate ways once we're done, that'd be great."
Instead of responding to Ohta's proposal, Soifon looked to where he had sent her Lieutenant crashing earlier. Seeing that he was half-embedded in the ground, Soifon returned her fierce gaze to Ohta, frowning as she said, "We should change locations..." in a faint tone.
"Lead the way, t-back," replied Ohta, causing Soifon's brow to twitch in a manner remarkably similar to Yoruichi. Even the way she styled her hair was similar to her former Mistress, bangs framing her face and two tufts flaring outward like furry ears. It was almost pitiable...
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After recovering her Captain's haori and reverting her Zanpakuto to its base state, Soifon led Ohta to an abandoned building a few kilometers away from their battle site, taking it upon herself to explain, "This is a safe house the Onmitsukidō use to recuperate and conduct surveillance in the western district. The walls are soundproofed, and there are fragments of Sekkiseki infused within, so our Reiyroku won't leak outside..."
"Then consider yourself lucky I'm not an enemy," remarked Ohta, earning a disgusted frown for his trouble. Immediately afterward, however, Soifon approached him, making no effort to disguise the fact she was sniffing his body.
"I knew it..." growled Soifon, barring her teeth as she accused, "You have La&ndash;Shihouin Yoruichi's scent on you..."
Since it had been at least a century since Soifon served under Yoruichi, Ohta couldn't help raising his brows as he asked, "You can recognize her scent after all this time...?"
As there was no way she could reveal she had several of Yoruichi's used and discarded clothes sealed away to preserve their scent, Soifon didn't answer Ohta's query, reacting by narrowing her eyes and asking, "What is your relationship with Shihouin Yoruichi...?"
Recognizing the challenging glimmer in Soifon's eyes, Ohta decided to tell the truth, admitting, "She was my first woman and the person who turned me into a Shinigami..."
Looking like she had sustained a serious injury, Soifon clutched her chest and uttered a pained "K-Kuh...". She could smell the scent of sex on Ohta's body, but having her suspicions confirmed gave her cold chills and made her want to slam her forehead against the nearest wall...
Leaving Ohta completely speechless, Soifon approached the nearby wall, put her hands on it, and promptly banged her forehead against it several times, causing tiny particulates of dust and stone to fall from the ceiling. When she was done, she turned around, blood trickling from her forehead and parting at the bridge of her nose.
"What makes you special?" questioned Soifon, her eyes making it clear she expected a serious answer.
Shrugging his shoulders, Ohta revealed, "I was born with an outrageous amount of mental energy and can grasp most techniques after witnessing them just a few times. I'm also only fifteen, but according to your former Mistress, I should be able to defend myself against most acting Captains at least. That's why I'm here, alone, and she's babysitting the others who came with us."
"Yoruichi-sama is here..." muttered Soifon, temporarily losing focus and nearly collapsing due to a sudden influx of emotions and her self-inflicted head trauma. She honestly would have preferred that, an offended glower marring her face when Ohta prevented her collapse by grabbing her right arm and supporting her with his other hand on her waist.
Pushing against Ohta, Soifon intended to force him away but propelled herself backward. His immovability annoyed her even more, but she did her best to suppress her fury, asking, "Does that mean you are a consort of the Shihouin Clan...?"
Without waiting for Ohta's response, Soifon's expression became outright murderous as she affirmed, "No...if that were true, you wouldn't be here to rescue that Kuchiki woman..."
"A century has passed since you last met your Mistress," countered Ohta. "The idea to rescue Rukia was hers, predating our relationship. But you're not wrong. I'm 'not' a consort of the Shihouin Clan. How could I be when your Mistress is currently in exile...?"
Interpreting Ohta's words to indicate he 'would' become a consort, Soifon exhaled a sigh of relief. She still felt an almost overwhelming urge to stab him over, and over, and over again, but while she outwardly expressed her 'hatred' for Yoruichi, she was still a faithful servant of the Shihouin Clan...
Recalling something Yoruichi had told him when they were discussing Soifon, Ohta said, "Oh, yeah. Other than referring to her as your former Mistress, Yoruichi also asked me to say this..."
With Soifon staring at him with slightly raised brows, Ohta regained his cheeky smile and added, "She told me to tell you I hate Urahara with a passion and that if you were being particularly difficult, I should refer to you as Little Fēng."
For the second time since the start of their conversation, Soifon looked like she had taken critical damage. Ohta had anticipated this to an extent. What he didn't expect was for Soifon to growl, "You bastard..." with tears building in the corners of her eyes. More surprisingly, she began to pull at the fabric around her waist, seemingly intending to strip...
("That fucking cat...")
...
..
.
(A/N: Ohta tried to sidestep but stepped directly on the landmine xD...)

Chapter 45: Vows, Pledges, and Looming Threats