Not a Mob: Psycho

"Rematch! Rematch! I want a re-re-rematch~!" screamed Suzumebachi, rolling in the air and flailing her arms and legs after Ohta caught her for the seventh time in a row.
"You're starting to annoy me," remarked Ohta. "Our original agreement was that you would submit if I managed to tag you within an hour. Now we're seven rounds in and down to ten minutes. From the next round on, I'll be smacking the shit out of you instead of poking you gently..."
"Kuh..."
While it was true she had increased the number of rounds and reduced the time Ohta had to catch her, Suzumebachi felt aggrieved hearing his words. She regarded herself as being the stealthiest, quickest, and most agile Zanpakuto, so she couldn't accept losing in the categories she was most proud of.
"You must be cheating..." asserted Suzumebachi, glaring at Ohta with teary eyes and an indignant pout.
"Says the person who hid outside the boundaries she set..." muttered Ohta, returning the Spirit's teary gaze with a deadpan expression of his own.
"Ah! I can't stand you...!" screamed Suzumebachi, reverting to throwing a tantrum. As she did, Ohta couldn't help looking at Soifon with the same dead-eyed expression, causing the petite Shinigami to avert her eyes in shame.
"Chance...!" exclaimed Suzumebachi, vanishing mid-fit. She intended to take advantage of Ohta's inattentiveness to flee and conceal herself, but the moment she reached her terminal point, a giant hand closed around her body, followed by the man she hated the most holding her up to his face and saying, "That makes eight..." with half-lidded eyes.
Frowning deep enough that her chin formed wrinkles, a sour feeling built in Suzumebachi's nose until she began bawling as loud as her little lungs permitted. She 'really' hated losing. So much so that when Soifon initially beat her in a game of tag to earn her Bankai, Suzumebachi presented her with a giant missile arm that severely limited her mobility out of spite...
After observing the bawling Spirit for over a minute, Ohta loosened his grip slightly, using the index finger of his left hand to rub her head as he said, "You're a really poor loser..."
Instead of responding to Ohta with words, Suzumebachi abruptly tried biting the finger of the hand holding her. Instead, she bit the psychic membrane protecting it, causing her to tear up even more than before...
"Hmmm..."
As he was getting annoyed with chasing the diminutive Spirit around, Ohta sat down, maintaining his hold on Suzumebachi and continuing to caress her head with his finger. When she eventually demanded that he release her, he readily agreed. However, before doing so, he warned that if he managed to catch her ten times in a row, he would continue stroking her head until she submitted or became bald, whichever came first...
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Looking between the light-weight stinger covering her right arm, the kite-like shield hovering over her left, and the pointed metal greaves covering her lower legs and feet, Soifon couldn't help feeling indignant. For several decades, she had despised her Bankai as it was functionally useless in all but a few situations. Now that she knew the giant missile wasn't even her Bankai, she wished she could materialize Suzumebachi again, this time to strangle her personally...
"What's up with you?" asked Ohta. "Your face looks like you swallowed a fly."
"It's nothing..." responded Soifon, discarding her attitude as she looked to Ohta and bowed low, expressing, "Thank you for your assistance...even without testing it, I can state with certainty that my Bankai has become much easier to control..."
"You can thank me by never pointing it in my direction," replied Ohta. "I have confidence in my defense, but I can sense that the Reiyroku at the tip of your stinger has become much more potent. Is the effect the same as your Shikai...?"
Though it would be wiser to keep it a secret, Soifon eventually nodded, explaining, "The effect is similar, but I can fire a laser from the tip of my stinger to affect targets at a distance. Furthermore, I can leave marks using the tips of my toes and the stinger on my lower back. If the latter connects, it will leave a mark across the opponent's entire body..."
Imagining Soifon flying ass-first at an enemy like a genuine hornet, Ohta couldn't help smiling. She currently had crimson, wing-like attachments on the ends of her braids, seemingly permitting her to fly and dart about without the need to produce footholds, so it was certainly possible.
Misinterpreting the reason for Ohta's smile, especially when he began to caress her head, a faint blush involuntarily colored Soifon's cheeks. She presumed it was because he had used a similar method to subjugate her Zanpakuto, but her heart fluttered and started beating faster the moment he touched her head...
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As September transitioned into October, the days passing paradoxically slowly yet somehow appearing to fly by, Ohta was pleasantly surprised to receive a message from Yoruichi on his cell phone.
"Good news," said Ohta, caressing the head of the woman giving him a blowjob in the middle of the living room. "Yoruichi says the preparations for the assault are complete. The order to attack should come within the next few days, if not tonight."
Though she wanted to respond, Soifon continued sucking Ohta's cock like the dutiful servant she was molding herself into. It was only after she got him to cum, swallowing every last drop, that she pulled away, sitting with her legs tucked under her in a proper seiza as she affirmed, "That is good news. If things go well, you could be promoted to the position of a Lesser Noble and vested land within the central district of the Seireitei. Then you can start your own family or form a branch of an existing one, presumably the Kuchiki or Shihouin..."
"We'll see..." hummed Ohta, gesturing for Soifon to rise, climb onto his lap, and sheathe his cock inside her. It had become a part of his daily routine to fuck her at least once after dropping off the girls at school, so he gave her ass a light smack, prompting her to move as he picked up the remote and turned on the TV. He wasn't particularly bored, but he had a policy of only giving his full attention to Rukia unless he was on the offensive. This irritated Rangiku and Soifon tremendously, but Ohta viewed that as a net positive as it prevented them from getting too comfortable and compelled them to try harder to 'earn' his attention...
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[October 29th, 2001, 10:48 PM]
*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*
Hearing their alarms beeping incessantly, Ohta, Rukia, and Orihime woke immediately, the latter two practically leaping out of bed while the former grabbed his phone to read the alert.
"It says that six Arrancar have appeared and are presently engaging the Advance Attack Squad, the Substitute Shinigami, and an unidentified man in the vicinity. I'm guessing Ichigo's dad."
"We should hurry and provide reinforcement," replied Rukia, throwing Ohta his trousers. However, as he had been sleeping in his Gigai in preparation for this type of scenario, he simply transitioned into his spiritual form, fully clothed and ready to go.
"Get in here, Bumblecat," said Ohta, prompting Soifon to appear less than a second later. She had already yielded her position as the Captain of the 2nd Division, so the only two people that could order her to mobilize were Ohta and Yoruichi.
"Same as usual," said Ohta, surprising Orihime with a smack on her perky bottom as he added, "You're free to attack the enemy, but keep this one safe at all costs. If anything happens to her, it's your ass..."
"As you will," replied Soifon, cupping her hands and bowing respectfully before raising her head to stare at Orihime. The latter was seemingly able to heal 'any' injury, so even if Ohta hadn't instructed it, Soifon would have prioritized protecting her.
Turning his attention to Rukia, Ohta asked, "Should I go ahead, or do you want me to wait?"
"I appreciate your concern, but I do not need your protection," replied Rukia, adding, "Go. And be quick about it."
Emulating Soifon's usual response, Ohta mused, "As you will, Princess," before Shunpoing away. He disagreed with Rukia on the notion that she didn't need protection, but he didn't want to deprive her of her agency. She was actually fairly powerful after attaining and training to master her Bankai. It was just that, compared to the power he possessed, everyone else felt like they were fumbling about and 'needed' protection...
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Arriving in the sky outside the hotel, Ohta Shunpo'd in the direction of the closest battlefield when a familiar figure with messy brown hair appeared, blocking his path.
"It's you..." remarked Ohta, losing the faint smile on his face as he clapped his hands together and shouted, "Bankai...!"
Though his outfit didn't change from his Shikai release, Ohta manifested a bandage-wrapped spear with a black and gold khopesh blade on one end and what looked like a tuning fork on the other.
Adopting his distinctly jackal-like grin, Ohta's voice echoed through the surrounding space as he brandished his spear and growled, "Kuroinu-no-Anpu, Souten-no-Seigyo(Dominion over Heaven and Earth)...!"
Seeing Ohta whip out his Bankai, the Arrancar blocking his path used one of his two pistols to scratch his head, stating, "I'd rather not have to fight you..." in a lazy tone.
"Then save us both the trouble by shooting yourself in the face," retorted Ohta, swinging the khopesh end of his spear to create a massive, crimson energy blade in the form of a revolving crescent. The gunslinging Arrancar had no trouble evading it with his unique variant of Shunpo, called Sonido. However, as he hadn't moved very far, his sole visible eye widened when a powerful gravitational force acted upon him, attempting to draw him into the blade's path as it reversed direction.
Evading much further away this time, the gunslinging Arrancar observed Ohta with caution as he used the tuning fork end of his spear to intercept the crimson energy beam, ostensibly reabsorbing it and causing his spear to produce a high-pitched humming sound.
"You're pretty fast..." remarked Ohta, his smile nowhere to be seen. His Bankai had the power to emit and absorb energy to empower his strikes, but the stronger the resonance, the fast and more destructive it became. That would be a good thing in any other circumstance, but as they were in the middle of downtown Karakura Town, he needed to be careful to avoid causing collateral damage...
As if he could read Ohta's thoughts, the gunslinging Arrancar leveled his pistol at a nearby residential complex, warning, "My only objective is to stall you. If you insist on fighting or attempt to flee, I'll start attacking the surrounding structures..."
Punctuating his statement, the gunslinging Arrancar aimed his second pistol at the sky, unleashing a destructive beam of azure blue energy that could presumably cut through a building like a laser slicing tofu. Then, as if to demonstrate the futility of trying to stop him from firing his weapon as he pleased, he unleashed nearly a thousand weaker projectiles in less than a second...
"..."
Seeing the hate-filled glower on Ohta's face, the gunslinging Arrancar sighed, scratching his head again as he said, "Don't look at me like that. I'm honestly not a bad guy. If it were up to me, I wouldn't be involved in this conflict..."
Shaking his head, the man added, "Unfortunately, I have a duty to protect my comrades. If you attempt to go for mine, I'll have no choice but to go for yours. You would probably be able to stop me, eventually, but at what cost...?"
"What's your name...?" asked Ohta, his voice a low growl that caused the surrounding air to tremble as his Reiatsu continued to compound.
"Coyote Starrk..." replied the Arrancar, thereafter raising his left pistol and adding, "And this is Lilynette Gingerbuck..."
"Nice ta meetcha, asshole," appended the pistol, causing Starrk to smack her against his head. Then, for the better part of six minutes, the duo had
an argument with one another while Ohta watched on in silence, seething with fury...
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(A/N: Being the 'good guy' sucks sometimes...)

While Ohta was being stalled by Starrk and Lilynette, Rukia and Orihime, tailed by Soifon, made their way to where Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Rangiku were facing off against an Arrancar with effeminate features and six whip-like tentacles protruding from his back. Nearby, Toshiro and Renji teamed up against a large, muscle-bound Arrancar with a bone mask covering his lower jaw while, more surprisingly, Kisuke fended off a child-like opponent with buck teeth who flailed at him like a mindless beast.
"Who should we help first?" asked Orihime, trying to appear calm despite her heart racing and a cold sweat breaking out across her body due to the powerful Reiatsus clashing in the vicinity.
"I'm most worried about Rangiku and the others," replied Rukia. "Captain Toshiro and Renji will be fine teaming up together, and Urahara should be more than capable of taking care of himself."
Drawing her Zanpakuto, prompting Orihime to do the same, Rukia said, "Dance, Sode-no-Shirayuki...!" even though it wasn't strictly necessary for her to call out the name of her Zanpakuto after attaining Bankai.
Following Rukia's example, Orihime shouted, "Cry gently, Kokoroyoi...!" as her Zanpakuto's blade shrank, transitioning into a coil of golden bells with three tiers, functionally identical to a Kagura Suzu, an instrument used by Shrine Maidens during Shinto rituals. The topmost layer had two bells, the second had four, and the third had six, matching the number of petals she had in her hairpins. As for the tsuba(guard) and hilt, the former resembled a six-petalled golden flower in bloom, while the latter was scarlet, affixed with red, gold, white, purple, blue, and black ribbons.
Swinging her instrument-like Zanpakuto toward Rukia, Orihime shouted, "Suzu-no-Kyoshin...!" causing the bells of Kokoroyoi to issue a pleasant-sounding chime. At the same time, a faint golden light enveloped Rukia's body, resonating with and directly amplifying her Reiatsu as she wielded her pure white Zanpakuto, stabbing it into the ground four times before lowering herself into a thrusting posture, taking aim at the Arrancar with six tentacles more than two hundred meters away as she coldly muttered, "Tsugi-no-mai, Hakuren(Next Dance, White Ripple)..."
As the temperature around her dropped rapidly, Rukia thrust forward with her Zanpakuto, unleashing an avalanche-like wave of energy that formed into a destructive vortex as it surged toward the effeminate Arrancar from his blind spot. The raven-haired Demihollow was caught off guard by the attack but managed to retract all six of his tentacles to block it, scowling as he hissed, "Underhanded wench...how dare you sneak attack the great Luppi!?"
Shattering the ice that had formed around his tentacles, Luppi intended to direct them at Rukia and Orihime like a rain of spears, but turning his back to Rangiku would prove to be a fatal mistake. A frigid numbness suffused his body after Rukia's attack, so he barely felt the gentle breeze heralding Rangiku's before a sense of existential dread washed over him.
"Gin senp-"
Before Luppi could finish his utterance, his body was abruptly bifurcated at the waist, his upper half consequently disintegrating while his legs fell to the ground with a sickening crunch. It was a relatively gruesome sight, causing Orihime's stomach to churn, but she managed to avoid throwing up as she and Rukia joined hands with Rangiku, Ikkaku, and Yumichika to provide support to Toshiro and Renji...
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Sensing the death of one of his comrades, Starrk's brows furrowed ever so slightly. Fortunately, the one that perished was the one they intended to use as a sacrificial pawn if things went south. Starrk only really cared about the Espada ranked two through five, so the death of Luffy, Luppon, or whatever he was called, was summarily dismissed in his mind.
Catching the gunslinging Arrancar slightly off guard, Ohta asked, "What's your and the other Arrancars' aim? You said that if it were up to you, you wouldn't be here. Is Aizen controlling you...?"
Scratching his head with his right pistol, Starrk deliberated momentarily before replying, "Those of us ranked three and above are immune to the effects of his Zanpakuto. At least, that's what he told us. As for why we're helping him..."
Interrupting Starrk's explanation, the pistol in his hand screamed, "Stop fraternizing with the enemy, Starrk! You know this bastard is going to run rampant in our home after this, right!? Is your head hollow or-"
Sheathing the pistols in their holsters, Starrk continued, revealing, "Aizen promised Lilynette and me an end to our loneliness and gave us comrades to protect. Once he claims the throne of the Soul King, Barragan, Harribel, and the two of us will become his Royal Guard, building a peaceful society outside the influence of the three realms..."
"Is that supposed to be some kind of joke...?" asked Ohta, brows raised in disbelief. "Aizen intends to supplant the Soul King and destroy the current balance. Billions will die for the 'peace' you're referring to..."
"But those who survive, the truly strong, will build a far stabler world atop the previous one's destruction," contended Starrk. "As someone born with tremendous power, you must have felt it, right? The pain and loneliness of being different from nearly everyone else. Having to continuously restrain your power so that you don't inadvertently crush the lives of those around you like ants..."
Casting his gaze at the moon overhead, Starrk softly but firmly asserted, "If you haven't yet, you will..."
With Ohta unleashing a far larger crescent of energy, Starrk unholstered his right pistol and fired a massive column of azure blue energy, piercing the former's attack and forcing him to evade.
Contrasting his threat from earlier, Starrk didn't immediately begin firing upon the town of Karakura. Instead, he used Sonido to keep a distance from Ohta, kiting him with weaker projectiles and periodically evading his opponent's destructive attacks while drawing the exchange closer to the ground.
"You fucking pansy ass mother-fucker...!" screamed Ohta, seriously considering going full postal without regard for his surroundings. The moment he crossed that line, however, he would be no better than the monsters that incited the war in his previous life, resorting to the use of nukes the moment they realized they had invited a global ass-whopping onto themselves...
In response to Ohta's shout, Starrk surprised him by appearing right in front of him, pistol leveled at his face and angled toward the sky as he pulled the trigger. The attack knocked Ohta's hood off, incinerating it in the process, but when the blue light faded, the jackal-eared youth was largely unscathed, the same blue light from Starrk's attack rising from his throat like a haze as he said, "You'll need to do better than that..."
Raising his brows, Starrk questioned, "Did you...eat my attack...?" before dodging as Ohta opened his mouth to unleash a similarly blue projectile. His body was tough enough to withstand the flames of the Sokyoku, and his ability to absorb and repurpose energy was frightening to the point that Yoruichi had warned him against exhibiting it in front of others lest he truly be labeled a monster. More importantly, with the majority of Starrk's attacks being energy projectiles, Ohta was, very nearly, the man's natural enemy.
Before Ohta could try and take a bite out of Starrk directly, a pillar of light abruptly descended from a crack in the sky, enveloping the gunslinging Arrancar in a nearly indestructible barrier. If an ordinary Shinigami were to strike it, not only would they be unable to affect it, but the energy within the light would rebound, seriously injuring or killing them. Ohta was aware of this, but instead of simply gnashing his teeth and allowing Starrk to get away scot-free, he Shunpo'd forward and landed a meteoric blow against the thin energy membrane, cracking it like bulletproof glass but ultimately failing to break through as blood erupted from his arm...
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Discovering Ohta lying in the middle of the road, staring listlessly at the sky with his right arm mangled, Orihime screamed, "Ohta-kun...!" before rushing over to heal him. Rukia and several others ran over to him as well, many wearing expressions of disbelief as they couldn't believe that he, of all people, had 'lost.'
Creating an unnerving disparity, especially with the condition of his arm, Ohta rose to a seated position, his expression a neutral mask of calm as he said, "Don't look at me like that. This injury is the result of punching the Negaci&oacute;n. Now, tell me, what happened on your guys' end?"
Instead of answering Ohta's question, Toshiro stared at him with even greater disbelief, asking, "You punched the Negaci&oacute;n? With your bare fist? Do you have a death wish...?"
"Yeah," replied Ohta. "More specifically, I wish that coyote bastard and his stupid talking pistols would choke on Aizen's dick..."
Interpreting the malice in Ohta's words to indicate he would be fine, Rukia exhaled a sigh of relief, placing her hand on his forearm as she said, "We'll get them next time..."
"Preferably on their home turf..." muttered Ohta, his expression and tone huffy. The fact this raid had occurred two days before their assault on Hueco Mundo concerned him, but it wouldn't matter once they received the order to attack. At that time, even if Aizen and his hypnotized holes escaped to the Human World, Ohta could unleash his full power without restraint...
Thinking of the final battle against Aizen, Ohta gave up on receiving an answer to his previous question and asked, "Where's the strawberry...?"
Shaking his head, Toshiro replied, "We don't know. We had our hands full with our opponents, but he should be okay if he were with those Visored. If they were defeated by a single Arrancar, they wouldn't be very useful in the fight against Aizen..."
"You're not wrong..." muttered Ohta, flexing his right hand since Orihime had just finished repairing it. He then used said hand to caress her head, replacing the concerned look on her face with a smile as he adopted one of his own...
Interrupting the moment, Ichigo landed like a meteor next to the group, not controlling his descent in the slightest. As a result, a large crater was formed in the middle of the street as he shouted, "Ohta, everyone, it's an emergency! We need to go to Hueco Mundo right now...!"
Before anyone could advise him to calm down or ask what the fuss was about, Ichigo, looking particularly desperate, barreled through them in an attempt to grab Ohta's collar, shouting, "It's Karin! She's been kidnapped! I need you to help me rescue her...!"
Though he initially shoved Ichigo away, Ohta's irritated expression turned to confusion as he asked, "Seriously...?"
"Does it look like I'm fooling around...!?" screamed Ichigo, the sclera of his eyes gradually turning black as Renji and Ikkaku struggled to restrain him.
Stepping between Ohta and Ichigo, Rukia shouted, "Calm down, Ichigo! We'll help you get your sister back! Just explain to us what happened...!"
Though he stopped trying to free himself from Renji's and Ikkaku's holds, Ichigo appeared no less panicked as he shouted, "Some asshole calling himself the Cuatro Espada attacked my house and took her hostage! He said that if I wanted to save her, I needed to come to a place called Los Noches and that I needed to bring Ohta with me. Now, let's go! We don't have time to waste...!"
Contrasting Ichigo's and nearly everyone else's expectations, Ohta rose to his feet, dusting himself off as he replied, "Sounds like fun. Let's go." in an almost casual tone. He was more than a little dissatisfied with how his fight with Starrk ended, so although this was clearly a trap to isolate him and Ichigo before the final battle, Ohta didn't care. The caveat was that if the enemy attempted to leverage Karin's life against them to compel their surrender, Ichigo would be losing a sister...
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(A/N: RIP Luffy. Also, here's your daily reminder that Not a Mob: Psycho is NOT a harem novel...)

In the wake of Ohta's explanation, Karin couldn't help feeling a little betrayed. She couldn't believe so many things had been kept from her, but before she could grouse outwardly, Ohta said, "Don't be too upset. Your dad may have a few screws loose, but no caring parent wants to burden their kids with this type of shit. The more you get pulled into this world, the more troubles you'll be forced to endure."
"So, what, I'm just supposed to continue living as if the world isn't on the brink of being destroyed?" asked Karin.
Shrugging his shoulders, Ohta remarked, "There's a reason for the saying ignorance is bliss. Keep staring into the abyss, and it won't be long before you're consumed by it."
Before Karin could respond, Ohta took the wind out of her sails by saying, "Besides, even if you spent every moment from this point on training, you wouldn't be able to influence the outcome of coming events. You might be able to make a difference a few years from now, but if you got involved at your current level, you'd be like a toothless toddler trying to gum an entire army to death."
"..."
Hanging her head, Karin remained silent for nearly two full minutes, her expression halfway between a pout and indignation. The thought of just sitting by as the world's fate was decided made her uncomfortable, but she also understood there was little she could do against a group of foes capable of supplanting the 'god' holding their world together. If someone that only recently started training could make a substantial difference, far more experienced individuals should have no trouble dealing with it...
If Ohta had been able to hear Karin's thoughts, he might have burst out laughing. Instead, he said, "Well, that just about sums up everything you didn't need to know but wanted to. If there's nothing else, you should go home, have a good old heart-to-heart with your old man, and spend some time with your family. I don't have the time to split my focus and train you right now, so if you want to get more involved in the future, continue your current training and return in two to three years."
"..."
Dissatisfied with having to wait such a lengthy period, Karin asked, "What about Spring and Summer Break? My family doesn't go on vacation, so I'll have plenty of free time..."
"We'll see," replied Ohta. "I don't make promises that don't guarantee me some kind of benefit. And as much as I'm sure you've thought about it the past few months, there isn't anything you can offer to me."
Understanding precisely what Ohta was referring to, Karin's face became bright red. Ohta had left behind most of his and Rukia's old clothes when he abandoned his previous apartment, so she had appropriated a large portion for personal use. Even as she sat on his sofa, Karin was sporting a pair of panties pilfered from Rukia's underwear drawer, so it was difficult for her 'not' to have certain wayward thoughts and expectations...
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After seeing Karin off at the lobby, Ohta ordered Soifon to ensure she got home safely before heading to the gym. He suspected that Rangiku had returned by now, so he decided to give the underground chamber a wide berth and focus on the conditioning of his body.
Entering the gym, Ohta was drawn to the sound of a loud metallic clang, his head and eyes swiveling to a squat and powerlifting rack in the corner of the room. Ikkaku was casually squatting around 2000kg in nothing but a speedo, his toned body on full display while the flowery Yumichika sat nearby, gazing at him with a 'listless' look on his face.
("I should install a gym in my penthouse...") thought Ohta, diverting his gaze from the strength-obsessed duo until Ikkaku racked his weights and called out, shouting, "Hey, Ohta! Come and join us, man! Nothing like a bit of friendly competition to liven things up and get the blood pumping!"
Waving his left hand from side to side, Ohta responded with a curt "Pass." before making his way over to the dumbbells, picking up what looked like a fairly innocuous set of weights, but they had dials on the sides. Turning said dials could alter the weight from as little as 50kgs to 500kgs, so Ohta cranked it up to around 200kgs for a light warm-up before heading over to a beige, pillar-like punching bag made from Sekiseki and beating the shit out of it.
"Your control is insane," remarked Ikkaku, having donned a robe before walking over with Yumichika following close behind. "Not many people can leave an outline of their fist in Sekiseki."
Punctuating his words, Ikkaku punched the opposite side of the pillar with all his strength. However, while the impact caused a shockwave to ripple through the area, causing a prominent hum as his Reiatsu resonated with the surrounding equipment, retracting his fist revealed that his hand was the only thing he had damaged.
Licking the blood from his knuckles, Ikkaku sported a rather creepy smile as he remarked, "As you can see, I have more than enough power, but my control is shit. Let's exchange pointers."
"Which part of 'pass' confused you?" questioned Ohta, shaking his head as he added, "I have no interest in making friends-"
"I don't know," interrupted Ikkaku, grinning like a demon as he taunted, "You and Rangiku seem to be getting along well enough. Are those your weaknesses? Booze and women...?"
"It's the opposite," replied Ohta. "As irksome as they can be, having a good woman warm your bed can be a powerful motivator. Anyone who thinks they can leverage Rukia and the others against me is suing for a very slow and painful death. No compromises..."
Placing his palm against the surface of the Sekiseki pillar, Ohta pushed out a hand-shaped block of the incredibly durable material as if he were dislodging a middle piece in Jenga. Ikkaku responded with a whistle, but as Ohta had already turned to leave, he decided not to call out to him and instead turned in the opposite direction, returning to the squat rack and increasing the weight to 4000kg as he considered finding a good woman for himself...
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"I've been thinking..." muttered Soifon, who, as usual, was seated atop Ohta's lap as they watched period dramas in the living room.
"About Yoruichi...?" asked Ohta, causing the diminutive Captain to frown and puff her cheeks ever so slightly.
"I wanted to try manifesting my Zanpakuto Spirit with the Tenshintai..." replied Soifon, her tone notably huffy.
Raising his brows, Ohta questioned, "Why? Didn't you obtain Bankai a long time ago...?"
Catching Ohta a little off guard, Soifon turned around, straddling him as she stared into his eyes and said, "I want you to trust me, and I 'need' to get stronger. Observing the growth of Kuchiki-sama and Matsumoto-san has convinced me this is the quickest path to improve..."
Realizing what Soifon meant when she said she wanted him to trust her, Ohta asked, "You want me to subjugate your Zanpakuto Spirit...?"
"It would make you feel more at ease," contended Soifon. "I intend to continue serving as your Kagemusha until you, Yoruichi-sama, or Kuchiki-sama have children. After that, I will safeguard them for at least 150 years to ensure they reach full maturity without issue..."
With Soifon's reminder, the gears in Ohta's mind nearly ground to a halt at the realization his future children would need literal decades to transition from being infants to toddlers and then prepubescent little shits. Puberty was already an ordeal in the human world, but in the Soul Society, it was a nightmare that persisted for upwards of fifty years...
Noticing the 'existential dread' in Ohta's eyes, Soifon blinked a few times before remarking, "Forgive my impertinence, Ohta-dono, but I believe you might be misunderstanding something. Unless they experience something that promotes and subsequently stunts their growth, children in the Soul Society develop similarly to human children until Reiryoku condenses in their Hakusui around the age of ten. It is exceptionally rare, even among native-born Souls, for Reiryoku to condense prematurely."
Exhaling a sigh of relief, causing Soifon's nose to scrunch slightly, Ohta surprised the petite Shinigami by placing his hands on her butt, giving it a playful squeeze as he teased, "Sure, I'll subjugate your Zanpakuto Spirit. Just promise me you won't start behaving like a certain blonde-haired cat girl..."
Furrowing her brows, Soifon asserted, "I would 'never' behave in such a slovenly manner..."
Resisting the urge to point out he could see her behaving in such a way if Yoruichi 'demoted' her to the position of a pet, Ohta asked, "When should we do it? Now...?"
"I would prefer to do it when no one else is around..." replied Soifon. She could still vividly recollect the scene of Rangiku writhing about like a cat in heat as Ohta 'tamed' her feline Zanpakuto Spirit. She didn't believe her Suzumebachi would be subjugated similarly, largely because she was around 18cm tall, but it was better to be safe than sorry. If the Tenshintai gave Suzumebachi a full-sized human form, there was a good chance the hornet-like Spirit would let Ohta do her out of spite...
"Then we'll do it this evening," decided Ohta. "Once all the members of the Advance Attack Squad have gone out on patrol."
Nodding her head, Soifon felt compelled to 'express her gratitude' for Ohta's understanding. However, before she could consider how to go about it, Ohta made her genuinely grateful by caressing her head and saying, "Save it for tonight. For now, let's finish this episode and take a nap. I have a feeling it's going to be a long night..."
Recovering from her momentary stupor, Soifon adopted a faint smile, replying, "As you will..." before subsequently resting her head against Ohta's chest. He rolled his eyes in response, but instead of telling her to turn around and focus on the TV, he moved his hand from her head to her back, gently caressing it as he watched the remainder of the period piece in silence...
("I miss streaming...") thought Ohta, seriously considering whether or not he should invest in this world's versions of Youtube, Netflix, or Hulu to prevent things from getting out of hand as they had in his previous world. Hell, if the Shihouin Clan could build a luxury hotel in five days, he might even be able to finance a completely original platform. That sounded like more trouble than it was worth, but if he wanted to retain a foothold in the human world, it could prove fairly useful long-term...
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After being summoned by Soifon, Suzumebachi, resembling a pig-tailed fairy with a fondness for hornets, exclaimed, "I can't believe you actually went through with this! Gah! First Yoruichi, and now this guy! Why do you always let others dictate your decisions!?"
Furrowing her brows, Soifon contended, "There is no shame in being loyal toward one's Mistress or Master..."
"Don't make me sting you...!" exclaimed Suzumebachi, angrily flailing the stinger covering the entirety of her right arm. Then, like a child with ADD, she promptly shifted her attention to Ohta, lunging toward him with tears in her eyes as she screamed, "Let's just see you try and dominate me, you big stupid meanie head...!"
With Suzumebachi's stinger unable to penetrate the protective membrane encompassing his body, a frown marred Ohta's face as he scratched the back of his head. Haineko had been easy to deal with as she outright asked him to fuck her. Suzumebachi was small enough to sit in the palm of his hand, and, based on her ongoing endeavor to try and kill him, she wasn't particularly fond of him...
("So, this is how Soifon 'really' feels about me...") thought Ohta, glancing at the diminutive Shinigami, prompting her to look away with an awkward grimace. It was common knowledge that a Zanpakuto Spirit reflected the innermost qualities of their wielder, so seeing Suzumebachi lash out like a moody adolescent caused her to feel more than a little embarrassed...
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(A/N: The advent of the murderous Tsundere. Also, here's your ONCE daily reminder that Not a Mob: Psycho is NOT a harem novel (O,....,O)...)

Chapter 73: Standoff