Not a Mob: Psycho

With Orihime joining Ichigo, Chad, and Uryu as a show of support, Ohta found himself alone with Yoruichi and Kukaku in what he assumed to be the latter's bedroom, a messy chamber with a futon covering much of the floor, decorated in silken sheets and purple blankets.
After swallowing several large gulps of sake from a gourd, trace amounts trickling from her lips and falling onto her breasts, Kukaku exhaled a loud, exclamatory sigh, expressing, "Man, that hits the spot!"
Sporting a large sake cup, Yoruichi, in her human form, swallowed several large gulps before directing a narrow-eyed, teasing smile at Ohta. He had also been given a cup, so he emptied its contents into his mouth while the two women observed him, curious to see his reaction.
Contrasting the duo's expectations, Ohta finished off his cup without so much as a twitch of the brow, his expression bordering on apathy as he said, "Not bad. But I prefer whiskey."
Exhaling a scoffing chuckle, Kukaku asked, "Are you sure you're just a kid? What kind of fifteen-year-old drinks whiskey?"
"I've always been very mature for my age," replied Ohta, extending his cup toward Yoruichi. She frowned in response but eventually filled it to the brim while Kukaku observed her with raised brows.
"Damn...Yoruichi told me she took you for a ride, but it's starting to look like the opposite is true," remarked Kukaku.
Raising his brows, Ohta was tempted to ask what else Yoruichi had told her when Kukaku caught him a little off guard, asking, "Well, how about it? It's been a while since I had a good fuck." with a wolfish grin.
Causing the buxom woman's brows to twitch slightly, Ohta immediately replied, "Pass..." while waving his hand in front of his face. "If you and the cat had a chat, you should know why I'm here. My dick isn't a bicycle that just anyone can ride..."
Shifting her gaze to Yoruichi, Kukaku remarked, "I can see why you're so frustrated. He's definitely got cheek..."
"Nowhere near much as the two of you..." argued Ohta, alluding to the duo's voluminous asses. He also shifted his gaze between their breasts, adding, "It's a damn shame I'm taken..."
"Keep saying shit like that, and you will be..." retorted Kukaku. She could appreciate Ohta's nerve, but if he kept taking potshots at her dignity, she would need to defend it...
"That's enough..." said Yoruichi, directing her gaze to Ohta as she said, "Now that we're alone, there are some matters we need to discuss. Are you willing to listen, or are you planning to rampage the moment we get inside the Seireitei...?"
"..."
Before responding to Yoruichi, Ohta emptied the contents of his cup into his mouth, exhaling a slightly heated sigh as he asserted, "I've been very patient with you and Kisuke. Tell me what the actual plan is, or I 'will' take matters into my own hands..."
Exhaling a faintly exasperated sigh through her nose, Yoruichi deliberated before asking, "Even if I told you, would you trust what I say? Other than when we experienced Soul Resonance, I don't think you've ever taken my words at face value..."
"Well, you're not exactly trustworthy..." countered Ohta, pointing out, "You admitted you would stab me in the back the moment I became a threat to the Soul Society and the current order..."
Crossing her arms, Yoruichi snapped back, "Yes, but I also told you I was willing to give my life to you in exchange for 'peace.' No matter how prone to violence you are, you should know that antagonizing or endeavoring to destroy the Soul Society is objectively wrong. Countless innocents, both living and deceased, would suffer as a result. In that case, I wouldn't be 'betraying' you. I would be 'saving' them..."
Raising her brows, Kukaku gave Ohta a curious look as she asked, "You're thinking of going to war against the Soul Society? That isn't cheek. That's just dumb."
"I wouldn't destroy the whole of Soul Society," argued Ohta. "I would only hold those responsible for Rukia's death accountable..."
"But that's the thing, though," said Yoruichi. "You know those very people 'aren't' responsible if things go South. It's that bastard Aizen and whoever he has working for him..."
"Maybe..." conceded Ohta, turning to meet Yoruichi's gaze as he added, "But they're only tangentially accountable. Last I checked, Aizen wasn't the one who came up with the idea to use Rukia as bait..."
Furrowing her brows, Yoruichi quietly but firmly asserted, "You didn't even care when you first heard about the plan..."
"The same can be said of you when we first made contact," retorted Ohta. "Yet, here we are..."
"..."
Finding the duo's exchange incredibly amusing, Kukaku smiled cheekily at Yoruichi, teasing, "Damn, he got you..."
"Shut the fuck up, Kukaku..." hissed Yoruichi, baring her pearly white teeth as if she were in her cat form.
"Hey, don't bite my head off," retorted Kukaku. "You're the ones having a lover's quarrel. I'm just enjoying the show."
Punctuating her words, Kukaku began to pack her pipe with an aromatic, dark green, paste-like substance. She and Yoruichi went way, way back, so she wasn't too concerned the buxom cat girl would actually attack her. And, even if she did, Kukaku was confident she could give as good as she received.
"There doesn't need to be a show," asserted Ohta. "Just tell me what the plan is. We already worked out that if Rukia died, you'd basically become my pet from then onward. If we both do our best to prevent that, there's nothing left to discuss..."
Though she was tempted to kick Kukaku in her grinning face, the buxom fireworks expert struggling to contain her laughter after hearing Ohta say she would become his pet, Yoruichi suppressed her annoyance and said, "The plan is simple...once we enter the Seireitei, we'll cause as much of a disturbance as possible before retreating underground. From there, I will contact our 'allies' on the inside while the rest of you rest and recuperate. Once we know the date of Rukia's execution, we will transition to the final stage of our plan, rescuing her and forcing Aizen to expose his hand..."
"And why don't we just kill this Aizen guy outright?" asked Ohta. "Even if he's ridiculously powerful, he won't be able to fight us seriously without exposing himself."
"That would be the worst possible outcome," replied Yoruichi. "You know what kind of power we suspect him to have. If we attack him without the other members of the Gotei 13 present, he could reverse the situation and slink back into the shadows. Only by forcing his hand can we rescue Rukia and severe any enmity they may have toward us. Jump the gun, and even if we 'do' save her, Aizen, his hidden forces, and the whole of Soul Society will be our enemy..."
Extending his right hand toward Yoruichi, Ohta briefly confused her before saying, "Bottle..." in a flat tone. When she eventually handed it to him, he downed nearly half a liter of sake in a single go, no longer in the mood to think...
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"Fuck me..." muttered Ohta, waking to find himself sandwiched between a naked Kukaku and Yoruichi. He was also naked, and if the sensation from his crotch was any indicator, he had probably fucked both women before passing out...
Stirring at Ohta's remark, Kukaku rose to a seated position, covering her mouth to stifle a protracted yawn before adopting a teasing smile as she cheekily replied, "I'm sure I have a strap-on around here somewhere..."
Though he furrowed his brows to his physical limit, Ohta didn't lash out at Kukaku. He wasn't even angry at Yoruichi. Instead, he issued a frustrated groan, placing his hand on his forehead before running his fingers through his hair.
"Eh, don't be too upset," said Kukaku. "Any other man in your position, at least here in the Soul Society, would jump at the chance to get with either of us. The only other person who can claim to have been with both is that bastard Kisuke..."
"Yeah, that sounds about right..." muttered Ohta, his already potent dislike for Kisuke increasing substantially.
Preventing Ohta from succumbing to his reverie, Kukaku abruptly grabbed his dick with her left hand, remarking, "Looks like your friend here still has a bit of pep in him. How about it? One final fuck for posterity? It would be a shame not to have any memories to take with you."
Though he had crossed a line he couldn't backpedal away from or excuse, Ohta shook his head and answered, "Hard pass..." He also believed it was a waste to have fucked two beauties and not have any memories of it, but he regarded that as the punishment for his sin.
Shrugging her shoulders, Kukaku asserted, "You're loss..." before rising to her feet and stretching her body, eliciting a satisfying pop from her lower back. When she was done, she gazed down at Yoruichi, promptly kicking the brown-skinned woman in the ass as she asked, "Who are you trying to fool? Stop pretending and get up you damned cat."
Rising to a seated position, Yoruichi rubbed her ass and glared at Kukaku as if she wanted to bite the latter's head off. Instead, she looked to Ohta, her anger turning to a slightly apologetic look. She didn't regret seducing him, not in the slightest, but she knew she had fucked up...
"Relax..." said Ohta, surprising Yoruichi quite a bit as he added, "This one's on me. But if it happens again..."
Though she was tempted to point out it wouldn't have happened at all if he wasn't into it, Yoruichi preserved her apologetic expression and offered a faint, "Sorry...I just couldn't take it anymore..."
Shaking his head, Ohta said, "Forget it..." before rising to a seated position and scouring for his clothes. This was far from the first time he had gotten black-out drunk and found himself next to a woman he didn't plan to fuck. It 'was' the first time he awoke sandwiched between two of them, but he didn't feel he had accomplished anything...
"Here, take this," said Kukaku, interrupting Ohta's search for his clothes by handing him a black pill roughly the size of a marble.
"It'll help clear your mind and improve your focus," attested Kukaku. "That boy with the orange hair gives me the impression he's bound to fuck things up, but it would suck if the Reishukaku exploded because you had a hangover."
("Whatever...") though Ohta, accepting the dubious pill and tossing it into his mouth. He ordinarily didn't accept drugs offered to him by people he barely knew, but he could use something to take the edge off and get his mind in gear...
Contrasting Ohta's expectations, the pill seemed to vaporize and spread throughout his body the moment he swallowed it. Instead of making him feel high or kicking in like a booster, it made him feel refreshed, like a cold glass of water after a hard workout.
"That help?" asked Kukaku, raising her brows and tilting her head slightly.
"It did..." replied Ohta, rising to his feet and stretching his body while Kukaku continued to observe him. There was about a 10cm difference in their heights, so she had to tilt her head slightly, looking up at him as she abruptly stated, "Yoruichi told me you were a man who repays his debts. Consider earlier today and that pill an advance payment for returning my brother to me..."
Even more abrupt than her words, Kukaku stepped into Ohta's personal space, his still-erect dick slipping between the folds of her pussy and nestling between her legs as she pressed her breasts against him and asserted, "Bring him back safely, and if you're up for it, I'll give you a far greater reward. Refuse that, and I'll owe you a favor..."
"You care about your brother..." remarked Ohta, pretending as though he couldn't feel Kukaku's heart beating via the pulsing of her pussy.
"He's the only family I have left..." replied Kukaku. She knew that wasn't entirely the case, as Ichigo was actually a tangential descendent of the defunct Shiba Clan, but she had personally raised Ganju in place of their mother. She didn't regard him as her child, but their bond was far greater than simple siblings...
"I don't like making promises..." said Ohta, habitually placing his hands on but keeping them there even after he realized what he had done. "But if I can prevent it, I won't let anything happen to your brother..."
Though she exhaled a scoff, Kukaku reciprocated Ohta's 'embrace' and said, "I guess that'll have to do..." in a flat tone. Meanwhile, off to the side, Yoruichi observed them with a half-lidded gaze, making a mental note to give Kukaku a good beating in the future...
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(A/N: Those of you who expect Ohta to be a perfect Gary Stu that never fucks up or makes mistakes are in for a rude awakening (O 3 O)...)

"How long have I been clocked out?" asked Ohta, slipping on the tabi-like socks comprising part of his Shihakusho uniform.
"I don't know, something like seven hours?" replied Kukaku, lying on her side and using the nails from her left foot to scratch her calf, still naked as the day she was born.
Before Ohta could ask if she needed to prepare, Yoruichi, having already gotten dressed, remarked, "That ten-hour timeframe from before was just an excuse to give Ichigo and the others a chance to practice and improve their skills. There are still thirteen days until Rukia's scheduled execution, so there's no reason to rush things."
"..."
Though tempted to argue, Ohta remained silent and focused on getting dressed. He still remembered their conversation before getting sloshed, so while he wanted to fuck shit up, he had to be patient. Not for the sake of Kisuke's plan but to ensure that Rukia, Orihime, Chad, Ichigo, and even Uryu could continue their lives once the incident was over...
"Don't look so glum," said Kukaku. "Brooding expressions suit handsome guys, but you don't strike me as the genuinely sentimental type. Channel a bit of that beast from earlier this morning, and you'll have women eating from your palms."
"I already 'have' a woman like that, and she's a growing pain in my ass..." replied Ohta, directing his gaze to Yoruichi.
Contrasting Ohta's expectations, Yoruichi adopted a teasing smile and asked, "Oh, so I'm your woman now? News to me..."
"You're my cat," corrected Ohta. However, the damage had already been done, an alluring smile adorning Yoruichi's face as she mused, "Whatever you say..."
Before Ohta could retort, Kukaku pointed out, "Man, you two squabble like an old married couple. Either that or a cat and dog who managed to cross the line into an interspecies relationship. Seriously, just fuck it out..."
"You two make a dangerous combination..." remarked Ohta. "Remind me never to drink with you in the future..."
"Pfft, your loss..." spat Kukaku. Unlike Yoruichi, who seemed to have fallen face-first at Ohta's feet, she wasn't 'that' impressed with his performance. She wouldn't mind him dropping in to plow her fields every now and then, but she wasn't going to lose sleep over him being a moralist prude.
Stretching her body, Kukaku added, "Anyways, since we're done here, the two of you should check on those brats. Once the grumpy dandelion gets his shit in gear, I'll send your asses skyward."
"Grumpy dandelion...?" parroted Ohta. However, even without Kukaku clarifying, he had a pretty good idea of who she was talking about. Thus, after some additional back and forth, he went to check on the group of four's progress while Yoruichi stayed back to give Kukaku a piece of her mind...
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"Oh, Ohta-kun! You're back...!" exclaimed Orihime, noticing Ohta's arrival before anyone else. She had been able to form a perfect sphere on her very first attempt, so she was just watching everyone else, sitting off to the side with tea and snacks.
Instead of asking Orihime where she thought he had gone, Ohta gave a curt nod, replying, "Yeah." before asking, "How are things here...?" while looking over at Ichigo, sweating buckets as he barely got his Reishukaku to glow.
Smiling awkwardly, Orihime made the conscious decision not to answer Ohta's question, changing topics by asking, "How has life as a Shinigami been treating you? Do you ever get injured or feel overworked...?"
"Not really," replied Ohta, adopting a faint smile as he said, "I'm kind of a badass."
"I'll bet," agreed Orihime, striking a pose as she said, "According to Mr. Yoruichi, you can defeat hundreds of Hollows in a single blow! I've only ever fought one, and it took everything I had. Ehehehe~."
"Well, the first time is always the most difficult..." remarked Ohta, not intending to make an innuendo but realizing his words could easily be misconstrued as one. Fortunately, Orihime didn't appear to find what he had said odd, giggling girlishly before adopting a radiant smile as she replied, "That's good to hear. If every battle was as difficult as that one, I'm not sure I'd be able to hold up."
"Mmm..."
Not really in the mood for a bubbly conversation, Ohta simply hummed in response to Orihime's words while observing Chad and Uryu. The barrier produced by the former exuded a powerful 'static' while Uryu's resembled the pupil of a cat. It was extremely stable, but he was clearly accustomed to forming arrows and had little practice creating other shapes.
"Did you come here to check on Ichigo, Chad, and Ishida-kun?" asked Orihime, adopting a somewhat forlorn smile as she drew up her legs and rested her arms atop them like the previous night. She didn't like being ignored, but she understood that Ohta had far more important things on his mind than chatting and keeping her company.
"Something like that..." replied Ohta, noticing Orihime's melancholy and frowning as a result. He had enough problems with women without exacerbating matters by becoming friendly with the childhood friend of the one he had 'abandoned.'
Seemingly keen to exacerbate matters of her own accord, Orihime asked, "Can I tell you a secret...?" in a hushed voice.
"I can't stop you..." replied Ohta, mostly annoyed but moderately curious to hear what Orihime had to say. Information, especially if that knowledge was a 'secret,' could prove useful...
Stealing a glance at Ohta to see his reaction, Orihime revealed, "Tatsuki-chan has a crush on the other Ohta-kun..."
"..."
"She was really upset at first," said Orihime, returning her gaze to the front as she added, "But, after quarreling with him and forcing the other Ohta-kun to 'keep up appearances' by paying visits to her home, the two of them became much closer. Tatsuki-chan has been wanting to tell you so she can ask for your 'permission,' but she hasn't been able to find the courage..."
Though he had anticipated this exact scenario, Ohta was still caught off guard by Orihime's revelation. He didn't pay much attention to what his old body was up to, but he had heard from Rukia that he joined the men's karate team, immediately becoming the ace and most recently taking first place in the national tournament...
"Are you angry...?" asked Orihime, feeling hesitant and uncertain as Ohta's expression hadn't really changed.
"Not really..." replied Ohta, providing Orihime some semblance of relief by musing, "If anything, I'm relieved. If she's happy, I won't have to worry so much about her dropkicking me the next time we meet..."
Realizing that Ohta was making a joke, Orihime supplied a muted giggle. Tatsuki had entrusted her with discovering if he would be upset if she and his counterpart started dating. Now that she had received his answer, she had even more of a reason to return home safely.
Just to be certain, Ohta surprised Orihime by asking, "Was that the reason you've been behaving so strangely the past two days?"
"Eh...?"
Confused by what Ohta was talking about, Orihime asked, "What do you mean? Have I been behaving strangely...?"
"Well, we weren't exactly close before this..." said Ohta. "With how you've been behaving, I thought you might have developed a crush on me..."
As if hit by a paralysis spell, Orihime's smiling expression became as fixed as a statue. She didn't even appear to be breathing, and after about ten or so seconds, her remarkably fair complexion started to become noticeably ruddy...
"Oh, so you do..." noted Ohta, adopting a faint smile as he asked, "You do remember what we came here for, right? I'm already in a relationship with Rukia. Though, if I weren't, you'd definitely be up there in terms of girls I'd like to date..."
Though the truth was that he thought of Orihime as a bit of anchor, even after she gained her abilities, Ohta didn't want to crush her spirits just as they were about to enter a battlefield. He had also never seen what she was capable of, so there was a chance she could prove herself useful, so long as she could avoid being kidnapped or cannon-foddered...
Seemingly disregarding the first half of Ohta's statement, Orihime asked, "Really? Do you think I'm pretty...?" with visibly glistening eyes.
"I'm starting to think you're vain," retorted Ohta, adding, "You were the most popular girl in middle school and regarded as one of the top three beauties at our high school in the first month. There aren't many people who don't think you're 'pretty,' and those who do are more likely jealous..."
"I see..." replied Orihime, reaching up to massage the tension out of her cheeks, surprised by how hot they were. What Ohta didn't know was that she had been 'interested' in him since middle school. After all, he was the childhood friend of her best friend, a mysterious and handsome boy who seemed like he had a lot on his mind. She didn't start liking him until very recently, but the interest had always been there...
Earning herself a somewhat incredulous look from Ohta, Orihime asked, "Then, once we've saved Rukia and returned home, can we start spending time together? Not as boyfriend and girlfriend but as...colleagues who support and grow stronger together. I really admire your strength, Ohta-kun. You and Tatsuki-chan have always been amazing. I'm unsure if I can catch up to you, but I'd like to try. Will you...help me?"
Recovering from his brief stupor, Ohta cautioned, "You're dancing on a slippery slope..."
Adopting a narrow-eyed smile, head tilted slightly to the side, Orihime mused, "That's why I'm asking you for help. That way, if I ever slip and can't pull myself up, I'll have someone dependable to lend me a hand. I mean, you're willing to travel to a different world to save the girl you love. Even if we can never be more than friends, I believe you'd come to rescue me if I were ever kidnapped or in trouble..."
"I'd rather not..." replied Ohta.
"But you would come regardless," asserted Orihime, absolutely no traces of doubt within her obsidian eyes. In her mind, Ohta was the type of boy whose actions didn't match his words. Even if he pretended not to care, if someone he knew were in trouble, she was certain he would lend them a hand. No matter how grumpy he appeared while doing it...
"You're really overestimating me..." contended Ohta. However, instead of pressing the matter and insisting Orihime she was wrong, he added, "But, sure. If you ever get kidnapped, I'll come and rescue you. In exchange, if I ever get injured, you'll have to treat me free of charge."
"Why would I charge you...?" asked Orihime, tilting her head even further out of confusion. She never intended to ask for anything in return for her healing and support, so Ohta's words almost sounded silly.
Raising his brows, Ohta remarked, "Even in the Soul Society, those with an affinity for healing are rare and invaluable. I'm not going to tell you how to use your power, but if you run around healing people free of charge, that's what everyone will come to expect. Doctors charge exorbitant sums for a reason. Don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of..."
Giving Ohta the impression he was hitting his head against a brick wall, Orihime's smile brightened as she pointed out, "You're already looking out for me. Ehehehehe~"
Shaking his head, Ohta promptly decided to end the conversation, rising to his feet to see if the manor had anything to eat. Orihime had tea and a plate of milk cookies, but he never had much of a sweet tooth.
"Oh? Are you going on another scouting mission...?" asked Orihime, rising to her feet and following behind Ohta with her hands behind her back as she asked, "Is it okay if I come with you?"
"Just do whatever you want..." replied Ohta.
Giggling in amusement, Orihime left Ohta at a momentary loss for words as she playfully asserted, "If I did that, I'd have to apologize to Rukia for clinging to your arm without her permission..."
Muttering ("This girl...") within his mind, Ohta seriously considered getting the Soul Society's version of plastic surgery. Having a handsome face and muscular body was extremely convenient, but he was starting to believe he was too good-looking. Either that or a certain Auditor had 'cursed' him to have extreme luck with women...
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(A/N: Let's all get together to play Ohta a musical elegy on the world's tiniest instruments...)

With Yoruichi returning early the next morning, having located Kukaku's residence overnight, Ohta and the rest eventually found themselves in a forest clearing, staring at what looked like a Japanese-style storage shed with a massive chimney. More notably, a pair of statues resembling giant arms flanked both sides of the house, holding up a red banner bearing the Kanji for 'Shiba Kukaku.'
"Who the hell decorates their house like this?" asked Ichigo. "Talk about poor taste..."
"I think it looks kind of cool," supplanted Orihime. "Very manly."
"Don't let Kukaku hear you say that," said Yoruichi, snorting as she added, "Kukaku is one of the most hedonistic, temperamental, and violent women you'll ever have the displeasure of meeting. Say or do something to annoy her, and, man or woman, you're guaranteed to take a beating."
Directing her gaze to Ohta, though her words were directed at the entire group, Yoruichi added, "If you're smart, you'll leave the talking to me and heed any instructions she might give you without a fuss. Do that, and we'll be within the Seireitei before you know it..."
"We get it. Can we just go already?" asked Ichigo, taking the initiative to lead the way. Before he could get more than six steps, however, Yoruichi
appeared atop his head, pushing down with her paws to make him crash face-first into the ground as she said, "You're really starting to get on my nerves, boy...!"
As he wasn't really injured by Yoruichi's attack, Ichigo bounced back to his feet, exclaiming, "What the heck was that for!? And how the hell can a cat be so strong...!?"
Snorting disdainfully, Yoruichi ignored Ichigo's questions and made her way toward the strange structure, prompting two nearly identical men to appear, emerging from behind muscular arm statues. Both had Mongolian features, stood around 218cm tall, and had bulky frames. They also wore matching outfits, albeit with different color palettes, consisting of red hats with white tassels protruding from the top, baby-blue sailor bandannas, gown-like robes that made them look like martial arts, pants, and sandals.
"Welcome, Master Yoruichi...!" exclaimed the men, practically prostrating themselves before the black cat.
"I have returned, Koganehiko, Shiroganehiko," replied Yoruichi. "And these four behind me are the guests I mentioned previously. Inform your Master of our arrival."
"At once," replied both men, rising in concert with one another before pushing open the doors to the shed-like house. Instead of opening to a small room, however, the entrance led down a long, steep flight of stairs, descending more than forty meters to what Ohta and the others would discover to be a large, Japanese-style manor complex.
"Wow, this place is incredible~!" exclaimed Orihime, eyes wide as she marveled at the sight.
Caressing his split chin, the muscular man that had led the group into the depths of the manor, gave a curt nod as he remarked, "Your servant has impeccable tastes, Master Yoruichi."
"Now, now, I already told you they were my companions," replied Yoruichi, albeit with an amused glimmer in her eye.
"Ah, my apologies," said the man, bowing his head slightly before raising it to say, "I will now announce your presence."
Tapping the frame of the sliding bamboo door at his back, the burly man bellowed, "Lady Kukaku, Master Yoruichi and four others have arrived...!"
"Let them in," came a lazy-sounding voice from the inside, notably husky but distinctly feminine.
"As you will," replied the man, sliding open the door to reveal a youthful, remarkably busty woman of average height. She had dark green eyes and wore bandages over long messy hair that reached the small of her back, a white skirt with a long slit down the right side, and a provocative red robe that seemed to be designed to emphasize her ample bosom intentionally. However, as eye-catching as her tits were, her most prominent features were her missing right arm and the fully functional prosthetic she wore in its place, resembling a mechanical doll's arm.
"Which one of you is Yamada Ohta," asked Kukaku, her eyes meeting with the person in question as she took a drag from a long, Japanse-style pipe that appeared to be packed with a mixture of opium and other 'medicinal' herbs based on the smell.
"Your curiosity can wait for later," said Yoruichi. "Have you completed the preparations...?"
"We just talked earlier this morning," replied Kukaku, taking another long drag from her pipe before adding, "You can launch in ten hours, assuming these brats can form the cannonball properly."
Hearing Kukaku's words, Ichigo questioned, "Cannonball? Wait...don't tell me that massive chimney was a cannon this entire time...!?"
"Don't make me muzzle you, boy!" shouted Yoruichi, subsequently hissing to get Ichigo to shut up.
Exhaling a throaty chuckle, Kukaku adopted a toothy grin and said, "Make it fifteen."
"Make it eight," interjected Ohta, his brows furrowing as invisible pressure began to release from his body.
"Twenty," countered Kukaku, undaunted by the slight rumble starting to affect the room.
"Ten," said Yoruichi, a serious look on her feline face as she stared intently into Kukaku's eyes.
Clicking her tongue, Kukaku replied, "Fine. Since this is a favor for Kisuke, I'll stop joking around. But, before we get started, there's someone I want to introduce you to."
Rising to her feet, Kukaku made her way over to a sliding door at the side of the room, calling out, "You ready?"
"Yes, Sis..." replied the voice of a man, husky like Kukaku's but markedly less feminine.
As Kukaku opened the door, a muscular man with chin-length black hair bowed his head low, exclaiming, "It is a pleasure to meet you! My name is Shiba Ganju...!"
Nodding her head, Kukaku said, "Good job." before shifting her gaze to Yoruichi and the rest of the group, stating, "I trust you, Yoruichi, but these brats are another matter entirely. I'm afraid they'll fuck things up, so I'm sending my baby brother to supervise. Make sure he gets back to me, you hear...?"
Exhaling a light chuckle, Yoruichi replied, "Very well, Kukaku. However, I have enough on my plate babysitting this lot. If he's incapable of caring for himself, I suggest he stays behind."
"Eh, don't worry," assured Kukaku. "This big oaf might have stones for brains, but he has good survival instincts. As long as you don't go rushing willy-nilly into a group of Captains, he'll be fine."
"Very well," replied Yoruichi, directing her gaze to Ganju as she said, "Your sister isn't quick to compliment others. As such, I have high expectations for you, Shiba Ganju."
"Yes, I will do my best!" exclaimed Ganju, bowing his head until it nearly touched the floor.
"You better," said Kukaku, shifting her gaze to Ohta and the rest, focusing on the former as she said, "Anyways, grab your things and follow me. I'll show you what we'll be using to smash your way into the Seireitei. What you do from there is up to you."
As Kukaku was staring at him, Ohta narrowed his eyes and replied, "Lead the way." in a curt, resolute tone. The inordinately buxom woman grinned almost menacingly in response, but instead of saying or doing anything to provoke him, she responded with an equally curt, "Good answer." before leading the group deeper underground, through a well-lit corridor and to a room covered in red warning labels.
"Open the door, Ganju," ordered Kukaku, prompting her much larger but younger brother to respond, "Yes, Ma'am...!" before quickly doing as she instructed.
Pushing open the doors, Ganju revealed a massive, darkened room whose dimensions were at least forty meters cubed. The far side of the room had what looked like an enormous cylindrical monolith but was actually a giant fireworks launcher based on Kukaku shouting, "Feast your eyes, kiddies. This big beauty is the Kakaku Taiho(Flower Crane Cannon), the greatest masterpiece of myself, Shiba Kukaku, Soul Society's foremost fireworks expert...!"
"Fireworks...?" parroted Ichigo, a look of disbelief on his face.
"That's right," replied Kukaku, grinning as she directed her gaze to the roof above and shouted, "Koganehiko, Shiroganehiko, raise it now!" in a booming voice that pierced the ceiling and reached the surface above ground.
In response to Kukaku's shout, the chamber began to tremble, shaking violently as the floor rose like a colossal elevator. At the same time, the ceiling above parted like the roof of a stadium, permitting the enormous launcher to pass through until the floor eventually became level with the ground outside.
While everyone else was recovering from the shock of being transported to the surface, Kukaku raised her left hand, materializing what looked like a crystal boy with a red crane insignia inside, saying, "Think fast, kid!" as she tossed it to Ohta.
Catching the sphere effortlessly with his left hand, Ohta asked, "And this is...?" in a flat tone.
"It's called a Reishukaku," replied Kukaku. "It's what will enable you to break through the barrier surrounding the Seireitei. Now, go ahead and channel your spirit energy into it."
Holding the sphere at chest level, Ohta earned a moderately impressed look from Kukaku as the interior immediately glowed a vibrant shade of bluish-white, followed by a transparent, bubble-like barrier materializing around him.
"Wow, Yoruichi wasn't exaggerating when she said you were a monster," remarked Kukaku. "Unless they're Kido experts, even most Captains don't possess that level of spiritual control."
"Hey, let me try," said Ichigo, knocking on the thin but incredibly durable barrier surrounding Ohta.
"Go for it," replied Ohta, retracting his spirit energy from the Reishukaku and tossing it to Ichigo.
"Hnnnnnnngh...!"
With an expression that looked like he was about to shit himself, Ichigo used both hands to squeeze the Reishukaku, failing to get it to so much as emit a faint glow despite groaning loudly.
"What are you doing...?" asked Ohta, his expression morphing into a half-lidded deadpan.
Ceasing his exertions, Ichigo frowned and retorted, "You tell me. How do you even insert your spirit energy into something...?"
"..."
Shifting his gaze to Yoruichi, Ohta asked, 'What the actual fuck...?' with his eyes alone.
"Don't look at me," said Yoruichi, excusing, "Kisuke is the one who trained him. I was responsible for these two," while looking to Orihime and Chad.
"Oh, oh, can I try?" asked Orihime. Ichigo seemed reluctant to part with it at first, but he eventually tossed it over, emulating Ohta's "Go for it..." in a neutral tone.
Holding the sphere fairly casually, as if she were cradling it in her hands, Orihime issued a cutesy "Haaawum...!" as the interior of the Reishukaku lit up. When a transparent bubble formed a few seconds later, Ichigo's right brow twitched. It hadn't even been three weeks since Orihime gained her power, but her control drastically exceeded his own.
"I did it~!" chimed Orihime, initially looking at Ichigo with a smile before promptly shifting her gaze to Ohta when she noticed how aggravated the former looked.
"Ehehehe~"
Raising his brows, Ohta asked, "What, do you want me to praise you...?" before exhaling a faint, scoffing chuckle when Orihime's eyes glistened in expectation.
"Fine, good job," said Ohta, looking away from Orihime's beaming smile to address Kukaku, asking, "So, all we need to do is channel our spirit energy into this, and we can break the barrier around the Seireitei?"
Thumbing to the launcher behind her, Kukaku responded, "If it were that simple, someone like you could simply crash through on foot. You'll need the veil of protective energy condensed by my Kakaku Taiho to crack the barrier without being destroyed on contact."
Though he was tempted to fly off and confirm things for himself, Ohta responded with &nbsp;a flat "Understood." before crossing his arms and asking, "What should we do in the meantime?"
Shrugging her shoulders, Kukaku replied, "Well, you and the orange tart can do whatever you like. These three will need to head underground to practice forming the cannonball. Everyone riding within the Reishukaku needs to channel their spirit energy into it or it will become unstable and explode, scattering you in every direction."
Directing her gaze at Ichigo, Kukaku added, "You, especially, need to get your shit together. What kind of Shinigami, Substitute or otherwise, can't control their spirit energy?"
Furrowing his brows, Ichigo looked like he wanted to defend himself but ultimately just flexed the muscles of his jaw. Fortunately for him, Yoruichi chimed in to say, "The issue is that he possesses 'too much' spirit energy. Attempting to control it is like trying to do calligraphy with a tremendous weight attached to the tail of your brush. Given a few hours, I'm certain he'll be able to utilize the Reishukaku effectively."
Surprised that Yoruichi had taken his side, a gratified smile developed across Ichigo's face. Unfortunately, before he could feel truly thankful, Yoruichi added, "If he can't, well, we'll have no choice but to leave him behind and let him catch up later..."
(Awwww, man. Even a freakin' cat is doubting me...") groaned Ichigo, albeit within his mind. At the same time, his usually black eyes emitted a faint, silverly-blue glow as he glowered at the Reishukaku, determined to master its usage before the deadline...
...
..
.
(A/N: Ichigo was a bit of a comic relief character near the start of Bleach xD...)

Chapter 40: Blackout Booty Call