Nobunaga Oda's Isekai Cultivation Experience

Not expecting the Goddess to be so 'hostile', Nobu's train of thought crashed into the station of his mind like a subway car braking too late to prevent a suicide."What's your problem?" he asked despite his expression set in a nervous frown.Having already lost interest in the conversation, Imina leaned forward in a rather careless manner, hand supporting her head as she lazily replied, "I'm tired of dealing with unrealistic, opportunistic, and selfish people. Let me guess; you want to reincarnate into a fantasy world with some kind of overpowered cheat that will allow you to do whatever you want without having to face any real consequences or repercussions, right? It's either that or you're expecting some absurd system that will allow you to rise to the pinnacle with little to no effort. Seriously, you reincarnation nutjobs are all the same..."Taken aback by the Goddess's words, Nobu wasn't entirely sure how to respond. In the end, the only thing he could manage was to awkwardly ask, "Does that mean I don't get any wishes...?"Rolling her eyes, Imina waved her hand in the air, and, as a result, a large wheel manifested into existence.Glancing at the massive wheel, Nobu couldn't help comparing it to a pie chart separated into several uneven slices. However, as he continued observing it, he noticed that most of the slices were actively shrinking, seemingly consumed by the others.Since the largest slice had the phrase 'Purgatory' written on it, it didn't take long for Nobu to figure out this was the wheel that would determine his afterlife. This tempted him to ask why some of the slices were rapidly shrinking, but, even without confirming it, he could already make a few guesses.Fearing that further delays might royally screw him over, Nobu grabbed one of the pegs sticking out from the board, eyes aflame as he looked at the Goddess and asked, "Do I spin it...!?"Without bothering to reply, Imina just waved dismissively before picking up her angel feather quill to record the results. Before that, however, she checked off a few boxes related to the deceased person's character. This was a spreadsheet given to them by the God of Creation to evaluate souls aspiring to reincarnate.There had been far too many disasters wrought by selfish individuals who treated the worlds they wound up in as little more than a sandbox to fulfill their every desire. It allowed them to drastically affect a person's luck, so, with Nobu radiating the same air of entitlement as most reincarnators, Imina ticked off a few boxes that were bound to make certain aspects of his life a living hell. Most of these would only come into effect if he became a despot, but, as was often the case with humans who had received excessive power, this was far more likely than not.Unaware that a precedent set by others had already compromised his future, Nobu's eyes blazed as he attempted to will the massive wheel into stopping on a beneficial category. Instead, the wheel seemed to speed up rather dramatically before stopping, nigh-instantaneously, on a slice resembling the surface of a mirror.Surprised by the outcome, an amused smile spread across Imina's face as she mused, "It seems your reincarnation will reflect the life you have lived up till now...how interesting..."Hearing the Goddess's musing, Nobu was about to ask what she meant when a sudden hole, almost like a trap door, appeared beneath his feet. This caught him completely by surprise, but, by instinct, he managed to cling to the edge for dear life.Seeing Nobu clinging to the edge of the trap door as if it were a lifeline, the smile on Imina's face became slightly more prominent as she asked, "What is it? Depending on your request, I might humor you."Since she had already compromised his future, assuming he would be just another tyrant, Imina didn't mind hearing what he had to say. She already had a few suspicions, so, when she heard him ask, "Can...can I keep my body and stay around the same age...?", she replied with the most radiant smile Nobu had ever seen before answering, "Of course~!"Though he was significantly relieved by the Goddess's words, the feeling he had somehow screwed up was the last thought that crossed Nobu's mind before an irresistible force sucked him into the abyss below. Shortly following this, a bell-like laugh emanated through the void, courtesy of a golden-haired Goddess...---After what felt like a month of falling through an endless black void, Nobu awoke to find huddled, shivering, in an alleyway. Then, reminding him of the time he had been jumped by a group of six boys, intense pain began to emanate from every fiber.Though the pain was the first thing he noticed, it quickly gave way to a far more unbearable sensation, almost like his stomach was locked in a vice.Having never experienced real hunger before, Nobu entered a brief period of shock as his mind struggled to process everything happening to him. It was one of the most intense feelings he had ever suffered, and, for a brief moment, he thought he might die a second time.Seeing one of their 'fellows' keel over and begin seizing, a few old men dressed in rags and a crone-like woman observed Nobu with predatory eyes until the largest of the group threatened, "His jacket belongs to me. If anyone tries to touch it, I'll gut you."Though a few of the healthier-looking men appeared as though they had something to say, the size disparity between them and the much larger man kept them silent. None of them wanted to risk injury, as, with more than three weeks of winter remaining, even a small bruise could turn into a life-threatening infection.With most of the group wandering away, albeit not too far, the larger man grunted through his nose before approaching Nobu's body and tentatively inspecting him for signs of disease. A single extra rag would provide a bit of warmth, but it wasn't worth the risk if the person he was stealing from had an infectious disease.Feeling his body being manhandled, Nobu tried to resist only to have the left side of his face unceremoniously smashed as the man threatened, "I'll kill you myself if you don't stop squirming."While others might have been cowed into obedience, Nobu's experience with bullies had taught him to never, ever, give an inch. Thus, the moment he heard the man's words, his tightly shut eyes snapped open, adrenaline pumping through his veins as he rammed his forehead into the face of the man attempting to steal the linen tunic covering his body.Not expecting a sudden counter, the homeless quickly found himself lying backward on the cold cobblestone lining the road. Then, before he could fully grasp what had happened, Nobu, having studied mixed martial arts in an effort to deter his bullies, quickly straddled his stomach and began to pound on his face.Though he had yet to grasp his situation fully, the one thing Nobu knew for sure was that the man had been intending to both rob and leave him for dead. The man might not have had the intention to kill him, but, with nothing to repel the cold, it wouldn't be long before the elements claimed him.Unfortunately, despite possessing the element of surprise, Nobu's heart sank as a reddish-brown aura spread across the man's body.Part of the pain he had been experiencing resulted from an influx of information and memories. The sensation was akin to liquid metal being pumped into his skull, but, thanks to that, he at least had a basic understanding of what the dingy bronze aura represented. It was the mysterious energy that certain people in this world could wield to enhance their physical bodies and provide them a variety of superpower-like abilities...Unable to retract his fist in time, Nobu ended up punching the aura with his already swollen and bloodied fist. This produced a sound similar to a gong. At the same time, an agonizingly sharp pain shot through Nobu's right arm, his fist visibly splitting between his middle and ring fingers due to striking a surface that harder than bronze.Were it not for the adrenaline pumping through his veins, Nobu might have cried out in pain. Instead, a far more guttural sound escaped his throat as he reached for the only thing he could use as a weapon, a strangely warm stone tablet that his 'counterpart' had been clinging to.Though its dimensions were only 16x8cm, roughly the size of an iPhoni 12, the most important thing was that it was significantly harder than his fist. Thus, before the man could recover his senses, Nobu used the corner of the stone tablet to try and gouge one of his eyes.Realizing what his attacker was up to, the homeless man covered his eyes with his right arm before trying to buck Nobu away by rolling sideways. To his surprise, Nobu sprang away up when he did this, but, before he could celebrate or recover his footing, a series of dull thuds began to impact the side and back of his head.Understanding how royally screwed he was if he allowed the man to find his footing, Nobu began kicking the man in whatever direction he tried to move. It was fortunate his opponent seemed to lack even basic combat training, as, rather than attempting to sweep the legs or go for a tackle, he kept rolling around with one arm covering his face.Unfortunately, no matter how much he kicked the man around, it wasn't enough to break through the aura covering his body. The pain emanating from his stomach also siphoned away his stamina at a ridiculous rate, so, after kicking the man in the back with enough force that Leonitus would be proud, Nobu promptly turned around and ran as fast as his feet could carry him.Under normal circumstances, the other homeless people would have tried to hinder Nobu's escape. However, after seeing him assault someone with a Rank 3 Bronze aura, none of them were eager to move. He wouldn't last long after that level of exertion anyway, so, as long as they followed him at a distance, it wouldn't be long before they could loot his corpse.After inheriting his current body's memories, Nobu's thoughts weren't all that different from the other homeless dredges. It had been nearly three weeks since his last meal, and, though he managed to stay hydrated by melting snow with the stone tablet, this was likely to be his last winter if he failed to find food.As that thought crossed his mind, moisture began to build in Nobu's eyes as he recalled the relief he experienced after the Goddess permitted him to reincarnate with the same age and body. This caused his current body to live the first nineteen-years of its life as if he were on auto-pilot.While this was troublesome in and of itself, Nobu had actually been born into a relatively well-off family known as the Oda Clan. They had invested a substantial amount of resources into trying to free him from the 'curse' that had been placed upon him; but, having exhausted every other option, they eventually had no choice but to exile him.While it was possible to witness various fantasy races walking around, the world Nobu had found himself mirrored the society structure observed in a number of cultivation novels. This included a strength-based hierarchy, so while it might seem cruel of the Oda Clan to abandon him, the majority would have killed him merely to protect their pride.In this world, pride was often regarded with even greater reverence than strength. If a person were determined to lack talent, the highest position they could ever aspire to was that of a servant, serf, or farmer. This was the way things had been for thousands of years, so, for those born in one of the major sects or established clans, weakness was tantamount to sin.Though the starting age varied, training within this world typically started around the age of four. From there, you would spend four years working on your foundation before being split into two distinct groups. Those with talent would be given an additional four years to improve their foundation. As for the rest, they were fated to become the working class.While there were a number of historical precedences demonstrating that even a simple farmer could reach the pinnacle of cultivation, this required an extreme amount of luck and numerous heaven-sent opportunities. The likelihood of this was comparable to encountering a docile Qilin while you were trying to relieve yourself. It was the type of thing that only occurred in legend, so, after reaching the age of eight without showing any signs of progress, it seemed only natural that his family would toss him out...

Though they were not the largest, the Oda Clan was one of the most powerful factions exercising its influence over the archipelago of Nian. They had a lineage of producing powerful heroes that dated back more than six-thousand-years.Were it not for his request to keep his age and body, Nobu would have been the first-born son of the current Patriarch of the Oda Clan, Oda Senken. Instead, his father was left with no choice but to throw him out as pressure from his political enemies mounted against his First Wife, Suzuki Nana.Had Nobu remained in the family, Nana's position as Head Wife would have been threatened as accusations mounted regarding her ability to produce a viable heir. Nobody would dare accuse Senken, a Rank 7 Mithril Lord, of being the problem, so, when it came to choosing between his crippled son and the woman he loved, Senken chose the latter.While the people back on Earth would undoubtedly accuse Senken of being a terrible father, the majority of Nobu's memories regarding the man was seeing him grieve over his inability to remove his curse. Senken had apologized to him nearly every single day, and, until the Elders pressured him to stop wasting Clan resources, the man had spent a fortune searching for a cure.Understanding his fault in the matter, Nobu made no attempt to flee back to the Oda Clan. It had already been eleven years since his exile, and, in that time, his parents had produced two more sons and a daughter. He knew this because the entire province of Owari, the geographical location of the city he was currently living in, was forced to celebrate the birth of every Young Lord and Lady of the main branch of the Oda Clan.Fortunately, while his family had tossed him aside, Nobu wasn't completely without options. Prior to his exile, his father had entrusted him to the care of an elderly retainer. They had died around three years ago, but, prior to that, he had been well cared for. As for how he ended up on the streets, you ask? Well, the answer to that was relatively straightforward: human greed.Since the elder responsible for his care couldn't exactly advertise that he was a member of the Oda Clan, a number of small yet influential families, specifically the Imagawa and Abe Clans teamed up to take advantage of him. From their perspective, he was a mysterious outsider with deep pockets, so, after confirming his cultivation base wasn't a threat, they began levying all kinds of taxes against him in order to drain his wealth. Then, once he couldn't pay, they sent various lending organizations and thugs to force him into even direr straits.In the end, the old man was killed when one of the lending organizations attempted to take Nobu hostage. They found it odd that he had been able to hold out for several years, so, assuming he had a treasure hidden away, they broke into his house and attempted to pressure him for answers. After that, they simply left Nobu to die, but, due to the wealth of treasures he had consumed in his youth, he managed to survive until the present day.Nobu knew his survival must have had something to do with the Goddess as it didn't really make sense to him that they would just leave him be for two years. Fortunately, the old man charged to take care of him had carried on his father's legacy of talking to him, so, while the thugs had never been able to ascertain the source of his funds, Nobu knew he had been stockpiling funds with the intention of relocating them to a more 'hospitable' region.The only issue with this was that Nobu was currently on the verge of death, so, even if he knew where the man had been stowing away their savings, that didn't prevent him from crashing face-first into the pavement after running eight of the rural city's massive blocks. This earned him the attention of several pedestrians, but, the moment they saw how he was dressed, they completely ignored him.Following a few of the closer passersby with his eyes, a pained yet wry smile spread across Nobu's face as he saw each and every one of him stare with a mixture of pity, disgust, and outright disdain. Despite this, none of them even bothered to ask if he were okay, as, in this particular world, helping others was, more often than not, inviting trouble into your life.Crawling to the side of the road, Nobu curled up into a fetal position in a desperate attempt to hold on to the heat his sprint had generated. At the same time, his body habitually hugged the strangely warm stone tablet to his chest, a curious quirk he had apparently had ever since he was a child.If his memories could be relied upon, other people didn't seem to be able to see and interact with the mysterious tablet. This indicated it had something to do with his reincarnation, but, due to the condition of his body, Nobu wasn't particularly in the mood to experiment. The pain in his stomach had become even worse, and, though he hadn't taken any hits, he found himself periodically being forced to swallow due to blood and bile rising from his throat.Were it not for the fact the frigid temperatures caused the moisture to accumulate as ice particles on his lashes, passersby would have been privy to seeing Nobu crying for the first time in close to ten years. The last time was when he heard a heavy crash, and, after going to investigate, he found his mother sprawled out at the base of the stairs with blood pooling near her temple. That singular moment had eclipsed all the pain he had received from being bullied, as, in the weeks leading up to the fall, he had actually been giving his mother the silent treatment.Recalling this incident with crystal clarity, yet another wry smile developed across Nobu's lips as he dryly mused, "I wonder if this is what it means to see your life flashing before your eyes? I hope the next world...is a little...less...extreme..."With memories of his mother waking up at the hospital serving as his shepherd, Nobu allowed his mind to gradually descend into darkness. His vision quickly receded from the periphery, and, for a brief moment, he felt some kind of nauseous 'swelling' in his mind as a sensation similar to vertigo spread through his entire body. This forced him to remain awake for a while longer, but, with each passing moment, the desire to simply 'let go' became exponentially more powerful.As that thought crossed his mind, Nobu briefly recalled his father, mascara streaming down his face as he wept at his mother's side. For most, this would have been a rather touching scene, but, due to flying back on the earliest flight from an anime convention, he was still in costume. This earned him the attention of everyone in the hospital, and, though he apologized several years later, Nobu had never truly forgiven the man for showing up a magical girl during the time he needed his father the most.Feeling a tremendous amount of pain and pressure surging from the very core of his being, Nobu's body lurched as he vomited forth a considerable amount of blood and bile. This frightened a young girl that had been walking by, a startled shriek emanating from her throat as she jumped back more than six meters in an instant.Seeing the girl adopt a defensive posture, glowing golden daggers in hand, Nobu forced a smile as he said, "Sorry about that...". Then, with the last of his strength, he did his best to avoid falling face-first into his own blood and bile. He knew someone would have to come by and clean up his body, so, while a part of him wanted others to suffer as much as possible, basic human decent prevented him from being a complete ass in his final moments...---Though most people would have simply gone about their business, the young woman, Yoshitsune Yui, had her focus drawn to the eerie black blood splayed out across the ground. Others might not recognize it, but, as one of the few Golden Warriors of her generation, it wasn't her first time seeing someone expel impurities from their body.Noticing the young man had completely lost consciousness, the daggers in Yui's hands gradually melded back into her aura as she walked forward to check his pulse. To her surprise, his pulse was steady and strong despite appearing to be little more than an emaciated beggar. She could even make out the joints of his elbows, knees, and ankles through his clothes, tell-tale signs of extreme malnourishment...Furrowing her brows, Yui briefly considered whether or not she should try and help the youth when the words of her Grandmother, the woman responsible for bestowing her name, entered her mind."Listen closely, Yui. Though I don't expect you to go out of your way to help everyone, it is my hope that you will remain a kind and courageous girl throughout your entire life. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are questioning whether or not you should help someone...trust me when I say you will regret it far more if you did nothing at all..."Though the meaning of some words had been lost to time, Yui's name had always meant 'Helpful Fountain'. It was a name primarily given to second or third daughters of wealthy families with the intention of seeding the mentality that they should be willing to sacrifice themselves for the family. Yui had convinced herself that her talent made her an exception to this rule, so, after staring down at Nobu's unconscious form for nearly a full minute, she ultimately extended her hand to produce a pale golden aura.In the world Nobu had reincarnated to, Cultivation Ranks were derived from various types of metal. The very bottom, unable to produce an aura, was known as the Lead Rank. After that, increasing in power and prestige, were the Copper, Iron, Silver, Gold, Platinum, Mithril, Orichalcum, Adamantine, and Jadeite Ranks. These were named as such due to the requirement that breaking through into said rank required a tremendous amount of the respective ore.While it was possible to increase your Cultivation Base without advancing to the next Rank, the ability of 'Aura' to adopt the properties of different metals was too great a benefit to ignore. As one of the only sub-twenty Golden Warriors in all of Nian, Yui had mastered the basics of manipulating and even shaping her aura to produce remarkably versatile weapons. In this particular instance, she used it to fashion a solid gold yet extremely flexible rope, tying it around Nobu's chest and arms so that she could drag him away. The latter currently smelled like he hadn't taken a bath in years, so, while she might have decided to help him, there was no way in hell she was going to carry him on her back...Though the sight of a young woman dragging an unconscious man through the streets garnered a lot of attention, it wasn't to the point that anyone would attempt to stop her. The color of the rope was more than enough justification to steer clear of the beauty, as, more often than not, young and highly skilled people were secretly escorted by the Elders of their Sect. They couldn't even imagine a girl as young and attractive as Yui would be conducting her 'Warrior's Pilgrimage' on her own, so, the moment she came anywhere near them, most people made sure to give her a very wide berth...

Nobunaga Oda was just your average, everyday, ordinary nineteen-year-old. Sure, his parents were both irredeemable Otaku who decided to ruin his life by naming him, a white guy, after a famous figure from Japan, but he wasn't going to let that dictate how he lived his life.
Though it had earned him a fair amount of teasing in his youth, Nobunaga, Nobu to his friends and Nob to his flatmates, had eventually grown rather fond of his name. All he needed to do was set aside his shame and spend a few years in the gym. After that, the only people brave enough to make fun of him were a handful of jocks, and, perhaps as a result of their lack of sense, a few of his parents' Otaku buddies.
Fortunately, now that he had left home, Nobu no longer had to put up with such things. He was a free man, and, though his mother forced him to call at least twice a week, she had doted on him quite a bit due to the bullying his name had caused.
Though he would only admit it while drunk, Nobu loved his mother quite a bit, and, were it not for the fact she was married to that 'thing' he called a father, he might have become an Otaku himself. Unfortunately, that route had been closed to him from the start, as, despite being a man, his father had made a name for himself by dressing up as a cute girl and promoting 'trap' merchandise at various anime conventions.
Nobu could still remember the first he invited a friend over in his youth. At the time, he hadn't even considered that there might be something wrong with what his father was doing. It was only after his best friend, the brat that would eventually become his first bully, told the rest of the class that Nabu finally realized just how strange his family dynamic was.
Recalling the shame he experienced when the Principle of his elementary school called child services to question him, a pained grimace appeared across Nobu's face as he silently muttered, "The fuck is wrong with me? I've never been this sentimental before..."
Shaking his head, Nobu looked up to see that his Professor was more focused on a blonde with big tits than actually starting the class. Thus, without a moment's hesitation, he whipped out his phone and opened up a relatively popular Clicker App.
Clicker Apps were a type of game where the main focus was clicking, or in his case, tapping various icons to increase your point total to large, often ludicrous, numbers.
Though it wasn't something he discussed openly, Nobu had developed a strange sense of pride after his original Cookie Clicker playtime exceeded 2000 hours. He had also set a world record with the most clicks recorded in a single session, so while others busied themselves with MOBAs, FPSs, RPGs, MMOs, and even Pokemon, Nobu had always enjoyed Idle Games, specifically Clicker Apps.
Since Cookie Clicker had eventually stopped releasing any substantial content updates, at least during the time he was active, Nobu ultimately had little choice but to get his fix elsewhere. The first was a game known as Klicker Heroes. Unfortunately, the publisher became greedy soon after the game gained traction, and, as a result, even someone as diehard as Nobu abandoned it after only six-hundred-hours of playing.
After this little incident, Nobu tended to avoid games that were only about taking advantage of the genre's niche popularity. As a result, he ultimately settled on a game called Eastern Fantasy.
Eastern Fantasy was a relatively unique Clicker App as it took advantage of the growing popularity of Wuxia and Cultivation Novels to allow players to cultivate their avatar to the status of an Immortal. It stood out among the rest due to the implementation of PvE, PvP, Blacksmithing, Alchemy, Dual Cultivation, and pretty much everything else that allowed the Wuxia genre to thrive both in and outside of China.
While these were the elements that kept most people playing, Nobu had a much simpler reason. The developers had gone out of their way to include all the popular tropes, so, while it took thousands of hours, a determined player could reach the pinnacle of cultivation without contributing a single penny to the game.
Though the method had now become widely known, Nobu was one of the first players to discover the hidden bonus awaiting players who had spent a cumulative one-hundred-hours of active clicking. This had yielded him a mere 10% increase to cultivation efficacy, but, after an additional thirteen-hundred-hours, he had become the only free-to-play cultivator earning a bonus 140% increase to all cultivation experience he received.
Thanks to his efforts, Nobu had eventually clawed his way to the coveted rank of Immortal Sage King. His persistence had earned him something of a cult following on his server, so immediately after logging on, most of the active players in the chat proceeded to greet him.
Even if they were ultimately roleplaying, Nobu enjoyed being treated with respect and admiration by other players on the server. His only regret was that he had set his original name to Lord Cookie. Because of this, people in the chat had taken to referring to him as Venerable Cookie, and, every time he conversed with the NPCs in his Sect, they unironically addressed him as Senior Lord Cookie.
Were it not for the fact name changes cost money, Nobu would have done so long ago. He had even petitioned the publishing company to afford him a free name change. Unfortunately, their only response was an automated message that made little sense even after running it through a translator.
After that little incident, Nobu had given up on trying to use his implicitly non-existent influence to get free stuff from a Chinese company. Instead, he took solace in the fact that he was well on his way to being the first to reach the 150% experience modifier.&nbsp; Noticing his click count was less than ten-thousand away from the one-billion milestone, Nobu's relaxed expression promptly morphed into a lazy yet noticeably excited smile. This earned him the attention of a relatively cute girl seated two seats away, but, once she saw him furiously tapping the screen of his phone, she quickly lost interest in making conversation.
Unaware of the opportunity he had just missed, Nobu continued clicking with the intent of reaching one-billion before the day's end. Fortunately, he would have ample time to achieve this, as, shortly after his click fiesta had begun, the Professor eyed him like a venomous snake, saying, "Mister Oda...I believe I informed everyone that phones would not be tolerated in my class. Since you clearly have better things to do, please leave. Others have-"
Without waiting for the middle-aged predator to finish, Nobu rose from his seat and promptly departed the lecture hall. This earned him a withering glare from his Professor, but, despite knowing the old man for less than a month, Nobu was relatively certain he only recalled the names and faces of his female students...
---
With his schedule clear for the afternoon, Nobu allowed his body to enter auto-pilot as he made his way back to the freshmen dorms. This required him to cross numerous roads along the way, but, like most of the students cursed to spend the next decade paying off student loans, he often joked that he wanted to be hit.
Amused by his own thoughts, a smile spread across Nobu's face as he, very briefly, raised his head to look for oncoming traffic. What he didn't expect to see was a young girl, perhaps four or five years old, in a white dress chasing after one of those large balls used in yoga. There were also a group of fairly attractive women nearby, but that was the last thing on Nobu's mind as he shouted, "Hey! Look both ways before you cross the street...!"
Though the girl was startled by the sudden shout, her shock was second to Nobu's as a sudden and intense honking resonated in his ears. Then, as every nerve in his body tensed up, a loud crashing sound, followed by the screaming of the little girl, pierced the air.&nbsp; Ignoring the brat's bellowing, Nobu shifted his attention to the moving van that had veered into a parked car after swerving away from him. He could have sworn there weren't any vehicles approaching when he first stepped out onto the road, but, ignoring this incongruency, he quickly ran over to the truck to see if the driver was okay.
As if today was the day fate had decreed he would die, Nobu only made it a few steps before the driver of the truck stepped out, face beet-crimson and shotgun in hand.
Though some would assume the man was simply furious, his unnaturally clammy skin, dilated eyes, and the foam around his mouth demonstrated that he was under the influence of something illegal. He was being fueled by a lot more than simple road rage, so, before things could escalate any further, Nobu immediately raised his arms, shouting, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, man! Let's not do-"
*Krapow...!*
Unable to finish his words, Nobu's complexion paled as a sudden, intense, and fiery pain radiated from his left hand. It hurt so much that, for a brief moment, he turned statuesque as the man shouted, "You fucking kids and your god-damned phones! I'm sick and tired of seeing you dumb shits-"
As if the theme of the day was interrupting people before they had the chance to finish speaking, a rather burly individual wearing the workout attire of the college's ROTC program slammed into the drugged man with the force of a human-sized freight train. Then, as if he was on something even stronger than the trucker, he began wailing on the man in a manner reminiscent of Thor striking frost giants with Mjolnir.
While most people would feel relieved by such a turn of events, Nobu's expression paled even further as he turned his head to inspect his hand, and, more importantly, his phone. The tips of his index and middle finger had been obliterated, but, seeing the upper half of his phone missing, the first thought that crossed Nobu's mind was whether or not his insurance covered bullet damage. Then, before the reality of his situation could set in, the little girl from before screamed bloody murder as a group of men wearing ski masks emerged from the moving truck's compartment with guns in hand...
---
With pain emanating from virtually every part of his body, particularly his face, Nobu awoke to find himself in a strange white space. Even stranger than this, however, was the fact that a wooden desk sat just a few meters away from him, and, across from it, an inordinately beautiful woman with golden hair.
Though his physique had earned himself a bit of fanfare in High School, Nobu found himself unable to fully process just how beautiful the woman seated across the desk was. Her hair glittered with golden light, and, the moment he managed to take his eyes off her incomprehensibly large and perfectly sculpted breasts, Nobu noticed her ears were long and pointed.
Considering what he had just experienced, a peculiar giddiness began to swell within Nobu's chest as he restlessly stated, "Please tell me you're the Goddess of Reincarnation..."
Against every expectation Nobu had formed, a sigh immediately escaped the god-like woman's throat as she rolled her eyes and lazily droned, "I'm sick and tired of these perverted and power-hungry monkeys...". Then, as if she hadn't insulted his entire ancestry, the woman immediately adopted a radiant smile as she answered, "While that isn't entirely on the mark, the fact you sincerely believed in reincarnation your entire life allows me to fill that purpose. Now, choose your words carefully, mortal. There is a limit to the number of questions and requests you can ask of me..."
Feeling his excitement boiling over, Nobu needed to muster willpower he didn't even know he possessed to stop himself from jumping into the air and dancing like a fool. His unique heritage had afforded him quite a bit of knowledge regarding tropes such as this, and, though he had given up on watching anime when he was still a kid, his love for web and light novels was second only to his obsession with Clicker Apps.
Seeing the human across from her fidgeting like a toddler trying to hold in their pee, the Goddess, Imina, felt a sudden and intense urge to send him flying into the void. People like this had been showing up with increasing frequency as of late, and, more often than not, they badgered her with all kinds of irrational, selfish, and sometimes perverse demands. The few she had humored went on to commit all manner of crimes, and, in a select few cases, there were even asshats who thought they could stand against her using the very same power she had granted them.
Unfortunately, as loathed as she was to admit it, Imina had been the one to propose the idea of allowing humans the freedom to believe whatever they wanted. It wasn't her place to pass judgment, only to send them on their way to whatever afterlife they deemed themselves qualified for. This included allowing self-centered brats like the man fidgeting before her to transfer to different worlds, so, after forcibly calming herself, she 'politely' inquired, "How much longer do you intend to waste my time...?"

Chapter 2: Fight and Flight